Chioma Owolabi

What Are 5 Signs Of A Unhealthy Relationship

relations, unhealthy relationships

We get so excited and busy about life that we tend to ignore the important relationships in our lives. Yes, it’s true there’s no perfect relationship, but this particular phrase has created a mindset in many that they can comfortably stay and endure a toxic relationship all in the name of “no relationship is perfect.” One of the many questions people ask is, ” what are 5 signs of a unhealthy relationship?”

I see some ladies suffering and enduring their marriage, and I began asking myself if they didn’t see those unhealthy signs before they got married. Unfortunately, many saw some unhealthy signs but still entered. Some didn’t know those signs were unhealthy.

There are many signs of an unhealthy relationship, such as dishonesty, insecurity, lack of trust, false accusations, failure to apologize when wrong, unforgiveness, always blaming others, etc.

A relationship is tagged “unhealthy” not because it’s not good but because it can cause mental, emotional, and physical damage. So, what are 5 signs of a unhealthy relationship? Let’s dive in.

What Is An Unhealthy Relationship?

An unhealthy relationship can mean different things to different people. It can mean lying and cheating. To some, it can mean fighting and poor communication. An unhealthy relationship is characterized by a lack of trust, bad communication, domestic violence, dishonesty, bitterness, anger, and lack of respect. However, family background has a greater influence on one’s relationship.

Researchers discovered that 60% of children brought up in a domestic violence home also abuse their spouse. Although some people don’t recognize these unhealthy signs, some pretend to be good even when they are not, and others hide their bad side and always act good. If everything isn’t going well in some of your relationships, pay close attention to these signs. You’d see them in no time.

What Are 5 Signs Of A Unhealthy Relationship

What are the 5 signs of a unhealthy relationship? Yes, you are entitled to a healthy relationship, and that’s your right if you do the right things. Watch out for these signs to guide your mental, physical, social, and emotional life from an unhealthy relationship and help you do the right things to save the relationship if necessary.

1. Bitterness And Anger


No relationship will last long where there is unforgiveness, bitterness, and hatred. Bitterness doesn’t just start a day. It starts gradually and from the heart, which kills faster in any relationship.

I had a story about a lady who got angry for some reason with her husband. Although he apologized and she accepted but not from her heart. She waited for her husband to sleep and then poured hot water on his body.

That is what bitterness and anger can do to a relationship which is a very bad sign of an unhealthy relationship. However, being angry is not bad, but when you cannot control yourself when angry, it is bad and unhealthy.

Bitterness begins to set in when a grudge is now the order of your day. Instead of forgiving your partner and letting go, you choose to nurse that grudges and negative thoughts begin to set in. Bitterness and anger are vital signs of an unhealthy relationship that should not be overlooked and ignored.

2. Insecurity/ Lack Of Trust

Insecurity is when you are not emotionally confident, which will cause a lack of trust in your partner. Insecurity is one habit that, if taken into a relationship, can ruin it. However, insecurity is one vital sign you should check out in a relationship.

A relationship where your partner doubts virtually everything you say, everywhere you go, and every person you call your friend, that’s an unhealthy sign.

An example is cited in a relationship where a guy will want his partner always to be online so that he can call her and question her every movement by video calling her to see if she is saying the truth or not.

Unfortunately, people refer to it as protection. You will hear them say, ” oh, I am only trying to protect my woman.”

When you are in any relationship and your partner doesn’t trust you or your words, kindly run out of that kind of relationship because it is an unhealthy relationship that will do you no good but will end up in mental and emotional trauma.

Lack of trust and insecurity is a vital signs you shouldn’t ignore in any relationship. If ignored or overlooked, researchers found that it can lead to suspicious, negative thoughts and jealousy, which is unhealthy for any relationship.

3. Codependency

According to the American Physiological Association (APA), codependency is the state of being mutually reliant and a dysfunctional relationship pattern in which an individual is psychologically dependent on a person with a pathological condition like alcohol, gambling, etc.

In a codependent relationship, one person gives while the other is the receiver. The receiver solely depends on the giver in everything.

A codependent individual tends to ignore another vital aspect of their life to please their partner. Although, it may be difficult to differentiate a person that is codependent from a person that is just clingy. However, a codependent person can never be happy aside from pleasing the other person, which is a vital sign you should not overlook.

4. Dishonesty

Dishonesty in any relationship can be unhealthy for both parties. It leads to doubt. And makes you doubt your partner when it matters most. It is so disheartening to discover that your partner is dishonest.

Dishonesty breeds around lies. Although it starts by telling small lies to cover up or avoid misunderstanding, it gradually escalates to something bigger.

You must open up to your partner on every matter about yourself before getting into something serious like marriage. Even in business, and other relationships; be plain. Avoid any form of secrecy, that could eventually lead to dishonesty.

Trust issues begin to set in when any relationship is dishonest. The relationship begins to lose its value. It is better to cut off from a  relationship where there is dishonesty than to stay and manage it to end up in a wrong marriage or group of people. The longer effect of dishonesty is separation or divorce, emotional and mental stress, inability to trust anyone, etc.

5. No Or Less Communication

Communication is the bedrock of every relationship. No matter how busy you may be, you must spear out time for communication. Researchers found out that the fastest thing that kills a relationship is a lack of communication.

In a situation where the best way of resolving a misunderstanding in a relationship is silence, check that relationship out; it will be very unhealthy. Issues are meant to be trashed not with silence. The parties involved are meant to sit and talk over issues; providing a better way to move forward.

Any relationship lacking communication has frequent arguments and misunderstandings, violence and harsh decision-making, no emotional connection, and no togetherness.

Final Words


I believe “What are the 5 signs of a unhealthy relationship” have been addressed in this article. Hopefully, we’ve done a good job of highlighting and showing you the way out. If you have questions or suggestions, let us know in the comment section.

To enjoy a healthy mental and emotional life, watch out for these signs. That will make you proactive in taking the necessary steps to restore and revive your relationships where necessary.

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