If you aren’t enjoying your relationships, you want to learn how to fix an unhealthy relationship. Unhealthy relationships are usually characterized by nagging, complaints, and misunderstandings, which are not healthy for one’s emotions. Most times, partners feel burdened in such relationships because they do not derive joy. Whether it is a romantic, familial, friendly, or workplace relationship, it is supposed to be a healthy relationship. That is why an unhealthy relationship needs to be fixed.
“Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself.” – Oprah Winfrey.
How can you fix an unhealthy relationship if you find yourself in one?
1. Understand Whether You Can Fix The Relationship
All relationships are not the same. Some start with beautiful and happy moments while others may not, but when worked upon can be better. Some relationships that start will fade away because of one reason or the other. Before you quit a relationship, count the cost.
Ask yourself if you or your partner were doing something another way, would your relationship work? It could work if you and your partner discuss and trash the ills in your relationship. Know if it has reached the point where you cannot redeem it again. If not, try to make things work. Every relationship has problems, but your ability to go through them together makes you victorious. That is the first step on how to fix an unhealthy relationship.
2. Be Willing To Walk Away
“Before you attempt to confront a toxic partner, make sure your self-esteem and self-confidence are good enough for you to know that you will be alright if they end the relationship with you, or if you end up having to end it with them. If you’re not there yet, seek support.” – Miley Gomez.
Another important point on how to fix an unhealthy relationship is for you to be ready for any reaction or action from your partner. You might be ready to talk things through and make your relationship work, but what if your partner isn’t ready and wants to end it? How would you take that? Be ready to walk away, no matter how long you’ve been in that relationship. If they end it, you will be ready and not taken unawares.
3. Communicate With Your Partner
“Communication is hard you see, but in the end, it is key to that great relationship we all want and needs.” – Amy.
After counting the cost if the relationship is worth saving, another point on how to fix an unhealthy relationship is always communicating with your partner. Talk to them about the need for a better and healthier relationship. Identify those faults and mistakes that are the bone of contention. Discuss how to make things work.
Talk. Communicate. Discuss. Do not hide anything from each other. When you find time to talk, it makes an unhealthy relationship heal. Do not neglect that.
4. Take Responsibility For Your Actions
Do not pretend that you do not share in the blame. Please don’t act like it’s entirely your partner’s fault that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Identify your actions, apologize for them and work towards being better. All relationships involve sacrifices. Be willing to make one in your relationship. That is a good point on how to fix an unhealthy relationship. Be open to rebuke.
5. Seek For Help
seek help in books and therapists where necessary. Most of the solutions we seek are hidden in books. You cannot solve a problem the same way you met it, there has to be some kind of upgrade. Study books relevant to the problem at hand. In this case, you want to consume books about marriage and relationships as it applies to you. You should definitely find the help you need.
“Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. It’s one of the bravest things you can do. And it can save your life.” says Lily Collins.
Lily is a therapist who revealed the importance of seeking help from counselors and therapists.
Our local adage says: “a problem shared is a problem half solved.” During your communication period, you can resolve to talk to a mature therapist or counselor who will help and guide you to heal your relationship. Mind who you talk to. Not all counselors know how to fix an unhealthy relationship.
6. Allow Your Past To Rest
The moment you decide to fix your unhealthy relationship, let go of the past mistakes of your partner. Do not remind him of yourself about something he did in the past. Forgive whatever he has done wrong and let it slide. It will quicken the healing process of both you and your partner.
7. Learn To Trust Yourself
Some people stay in unhealthy relationships and blame themselves for the mistakes of their partners. Unhealthy relationships are power controlled and gaslighting. Learn to trust in your sense of judgment and communicate it calmly to your partner. Do it in a way that will prevent gaslighting from your partner. That is how to fix an unhealthy relationship.
8. Together, Explore Healthier Ways To Express Criticisms
Some months ago, I found a post about how this couple decided to relate their wrongs or mistakes to each other, which was lovely. The husband mentioned that when angry, he speaks to the wife in a tone that fits her, not based on his anger. That is because how he reacts to that anger will make the wife angry.
Of course, no one is infallible. That means we can all make mistakes. Whenever our partners make a mistake, communicate it in a way the other person will not be angry; spot their mistakes politely. That will make them sober and want to apologize for the wrong.
Discuss and explore healthy ways that you can better communicate your feelings to each other. That’s how to fix an unhealthy relationship.
9. Be OK With Having Uncomfortable Conversations
An unhealthy relationship is filled with lies and deceit, while a healthy relationship is filled with honesty. How to fix an unhealthy relationship is to do away with lies. Whenever you’re having a conversation, and you feel uncomfortable or guilty about something, communicate that with your partner. Do not conceal it with another lie. Feel free always to tell your partner everything and anything.
10. Don’t Move From The Conflict Without Making A Plan
Someone once said that he and his partner do not go to sleep without resolving the difference they’ve had during the day. Do not leave communication or discussion points in anger or conflict. Resolve whatever argument or issue you have before you leave a meeting point. If you don’t resolve it immediately, you will be going around with grudges, which is not good for you or your health.
Make up your mind to always resolve a conflict immediately. That is how to fix an unhealthy relationship.
Please note that you cannot fix every draining relationship. If you tried to fix it and your partner is unreasonable, leave that relationship for your sanity and health. No one is made for unhealthy relationships, and managing a draining relationship is not advisable. Do well to choose your peace of mind always.
“Someone should break your heart once by leaving your life, then for them to stay in your life and break your heart continually.” -Terry Mark.