11 Subtle Signs Your Ex is Testing You

10 minutes read

Ever nursed this feeling that your ex is testing you? Something may have prompted that feeling. He must have led you on or given you some obvious signs that depict that. In this article, we will be discussing some signs your ex is testing you, which you have probably ignored in the past.

It’s understandable to sometimes feel uneasy and disturbed when you feel an ex is trying to test you. These things happen, and sometimes the other party might come across in subtle ways that might get you confused. Worry no further, this article is for you if you sometimes feel this way. Below are some signs your ex is testing you, which you should look out for.

But first, let’s discuss some reasons why they could be testing you. Well, there are three reasons for this.

3 Reasons Why Your EX Could Be Testing You

1. They are Angry You Didn’t Contact Them

Your ex’s ego is hurt that you didn’t contact them, and they want to see if you’re still interested. This situation is tricky because they may not really want you in the real sense. They’re only testing you to see if they’re losing power over you by staying out of contact with you.

2. Curiosity

This is self-explanatory. They’re just curious to know about how you have been holding up, and what’s going on with you if you’ve moved on or found someone else. They’re trying to see your reaction and interpret it to suit their feelings.

3. He/she wants to Get Back to You

The situation here may be that your ex is considering getting back together with you. Probably your ex wants to be reassured that you still have feelings for him/her and possibly see if you can get back together.

Whatever the case, be sure to know if your ex is just testing you for fun or if they’re serious about it. Here are a few signs your ex is testing you, which we’ve compiled to help guide you through.

Signs Your Ex Is Testing You

Let’s dive in!

1. They Like Your Posts On Social Media

This is one of the most obvious signs your ex is testing you. When your ex constantly checks your social media handles to see how you are doing, there’s a need to pay attention to such an act. They may go on a liking spree on your posts or view all the stories you post.

Some would not even drop a comment on your WhatsApp status, but they’d go ahead and view every one of them, in the first few minutes of them being uploaded. They would pretend like they are not interested anymore but still secretly check your social media posts behind your back.

2. They Re-establish Contact with You

It is no news if communication is broken between you and your ex after a breakup. However, if an ex, after a long time of no communication between the both of you, tries to bridge communication between you two again, it could be a sign your ex is testing you.

Be careful when an ex tries to call you more often than necessary. It could be a ploy to salvage the relationship and crawl back into your life again. Probably for a negative reason, so be careful. On the other hand, it could be for the right reasons; who knows?

3. They Try to ignite Jealousy in You

This happens mostly when you’re on good terms with your ex after the breakup. If they try to make you jealous by telling you good things about their new relationship and partner, this could be one of the signs your ex is testing you.

Why would they be telling you things about their new relationship when they’re no longer in a relationship with you if not with a hidden agenda? Be careful if you find yourself in this situation. Cut off communication with your ex and focus on you more.

4. They Ask you Questions that are Too Personal

This is one of the obvious signs your ex is testing you. They suddenly start texting or calling you to ask personal questions that will make you feel uncomfortable. You could handle such scenarios by telling them how you feel. Being expressive is a sure way of not getting entangled in their trick. They may respond by giving justifications for their actions.

5. They Act Jealous About Your New Relationship


Source: Pixabay

If your ex suddenly becomes interested in your love life, and gets jealous of your new partner when you get to open up to them, it is a clear sign your ex is testing you. They obviously are, but then, it doesn’t always mean that they want to get back with you.

It could mean that they are simply jealous that you moved on first. Something like “you moved on after professing so much love for me,” which they perhaps didn’t appreciate. Maybe they would rather see you alone than see you happy. Isn’t that creepy and negative?

6. The Control Game

This frequently occurs when your ex is aware that you still have feelings for them. They seize the chance to exploit you and exert control over your life. You must keep your emotions and thoughts in check and maintain your composure when you notice such signs your ex is testing you through manipulative means.

7. The Loyalty Test

This typically occurs when your ex has always wanted to reconcile with you. They expect you to remain faithful to them even after the breakup.

They might ask around or come right up to you.

If you have doubts about this and ask if this is also a sign your ex is testing you, who knows? it could mean an obvious test. You might be surprised that once you pass this test, they will probably ask you for a reunion.

8. They Give You Space

Another strong sign your ex is testing you is that they want you to feel in control so you can see how you would respond in such a situation as they were in that probably resulted in your break-up.

For instance, in a case where your ex is most times too busy with work and finds it difficult to meet up for date nights, movies at the cinema, or a walk at the beach. You probably thought your ex cared less, hence the backlog. Getting a job as tedious and demanding as that of your ex will make you see things from their perspective and judge them less.

Your ex is granting you discretion. So accept it even if it isn’t in their best interests. Without you knowing it, they could be assisting in your development.

9. They Evaluate How Successful You Are

Your ex could inquire about how successful your life turned out to be, especially now that you are no longer together. They want to know if you’ve found a better career or financial security since you left them.

They could ask you to get back together with them after seeing that you are now a very independent person. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they want your money. They might simply be interested in knowing and exploring the changed you.

When they find that you have finally come to terms with your value as a person beyond a relationship, they can feel the impulse and push to get back together with you. Be careful in such cases. You may not push it. Giving it a chance is not a bad idea either. So, do what works for you.

10. They Remind You of the Good Old Days


Source: Unsplash

One of the most obvious signs your ex is testing you is when your ex constantly reminds you of the good old days. This action of theirs is very unnecessary if they have moved on and no longer want anything to do with you. It is suspicious.

They want to see how you’d react so they know what to do next. They may also be trying to ascertain what went wrong or if any of you would do things differently if given a second chance. They go straight to the point and tell you how much they miss you and would want to get back with you.

No matter what your ex says or does, make sure you think hard about it before you make your decisions. An ex became an ex for a reason. Think about the cause of your initial breakup before getting caught up in the signs your ex is testing you.

11. Your Ex Tries to Push Your Limits

One of the obvious signs your ex is testing you is when they keep doing horrible things to you to see if you’ll react. In most situations, they don’t stop until they push you against the wall, causing you to react like a wounded lion.

This is blatantly disrespectful. Why would someone keep doing annoying and irritable things to another person, especially someone who they had claimed to love at one time? It’s obvious that such a person does not love you if you ever come face to face with such a scenario. Nobody with a rational mentality would cause suffering to someone they have sworn their love and loyalty to.

To sum up, understanding the signals that your ex is testing you might aid in your decision-making over a potential reconciliation or a clean break. Communication is important in any relationship, and if you feel like your ex is testing you, it’s best to talk to them openly and honestly about how you feel and what you want. You can handle this tough situation with confidence and clarity if you set clear limits and stay true to yourself. Remember to prioritise your own well-being and happiness, and don’t be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or a professional if needed.


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