Chioma Owolabi

First Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship – Never Ignore

love, Relationships, unhealthy relationships

Most times, we never realize the harm done to a relationship until it’s too late. Maybe because the difficulty of getting a partner in a relationship isn’t as tough as some would say, as the values of a relationship are also disregarded so much by many.

The warning signs of an unhealthy relationship are usually hidden from the eyes that wouldn’t pay attention to details. The signs of an unhealthy relationship are obvious to attentive people. The First Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship might look innocent but stern and powerful enough to kill a relationship in the future.

Signs like; Bomb love, emotional blackmail, Anger suppression, and Petty talking about little things, amongst others, are signs that pass unnoticed. Even though these are factors you see popping up in the early stage of an Unhealthy Relationship.

The trust required and deserved is no longer pointed at anymore. Little things fiddle with it, and bigger issues show up later in the relationship. We have summarized some subtle and First Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship that usually pass unnoticed until it’s red.

Subtle Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship


It is important to recognize subtle signs of unhealthy relationships before they escalate into mountain-like misfits. These signs come in different forms and different stages. But for a clear understanding, we will explain, so, once you see them, you guard your heart and life frailly.

You need to know that when something bad is taking shape, it does it slowly. Most times, it goes unnoticed until it’s fully formed. So, please take note of these First Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship while it’s forming.

1. The Social Life

a). Hiding Personalities and Characters

Generally, people can hide their real nature; sometimes, you can hide your real character, especially from the outside world.

The way and volume of how you talk, respond or reply to a chat in a social setting, where you want to impress or create a false image of yourself. But, that’s throughout just 21 – 31days at most, though You can be smart enough to keep your cool for up to 6 months, some people are hyper revealers who can open their pages as early as a week.

So, regarding social life, you’ll discover that most of the people we discuss live a daily life of secrecy. That’s fine if it’s not intended for the bad. If you want to keep a healthy relationship, I discovered that time would reveal all if you stay put, pay attention, and watch a bit more than you react.

Also, try to be more open about your lifestyle as early as possible, so your proposed partner gets to know more about you.

b). Bomb Love

This is the kind that shows up when a relationship is seemingly a forceful atomic bomb. You should have come across a scenario where someone says; I started my love life a few days ago, and 3 days later, It’s as if we had known each other for like decades.

Bomb love is a flirting manner sanguine usually have. Though it’s not restricted to gender and temperaments, we still need to note that if any gender or temperament shows these signs in your relationship with them, the leaf is off the tree.

You just started seeing them a few days/weeks ago, and like a bomb, they want to introduce you to their family members and send you inappropriate gifts.

It is inappropriate in all senses. You can’t truly say you know someone just a few days after meeting them. This is one of the First Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship. It can be from both ends or one end.

2. The Emotional Life


a). Emotional Blackmails

Here, the relationship is a favorite story of one person while the other is the victim, in the sense that one of the partners gets all the attention and still thinks he isn’t getting enough as he wants.

Your partner might decide and tell you what to do, what to wear, and how to do the things they want you to do. However, they are self-centered and jealous and try to prevent you from doing something of your free will.

Emotional blackmail, also known as EB, is a repetitive emotional manipulation where the predator uses threats and indirect attacks on a person by the induction of Fear, guilt, and forceful love desires.

In Hong Kong, research was done on 199 expatriates of various ethnicities and residents with a 25-item EB scale questionnaire created based on forwarding and Frazier’s (1997) writings on Emotional Blackmail.

The research was to prove the number of unhappy unions in a geographical region, and one of the reasons for the hurts and burns in their relationships was the effects of Emotional Blackmail.

b). Keeping A Scorecard


In an Unhealthy Relationship, there is this sense of tension or a reoccurring lifestyle of bringing up issues from the past during an argument.

Though some issues or arguments might have related or similar features, yes, such scenarios exist, but when an argument is based on, reopened on, restructured on, or from a similar experience, it reveals some First Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship.  Take note of that and make necessary adjustments.

When you agree to stay in a relationship with someone, you indirectly choose their imperfections and past mistakes. Therefore, letting go of your past is a requirement to keep your relationship healthy.

If any behavior or issue seems impossible for you to cope with, walk out of that relationship early enough.

c). Being Blamed For Any Emotions Felt

Note that you are not accountable for how your partner always feels. Yes, there is no hiding the bottles when it comes to being annoying or having an annoying partner. Some partners may be provocative due to stress or other reasons. Sometimes it can be manipulative and intentional, making you feel the pressure of being with them unnecessarily.

While some might take the pressure of work, a bad day, or a disappointment and transfer the emotional punishment on you as if you are to blame. Be complete, be yourself.

The emotional well-being of your partner should not control your life. They can’t expect you to know how they feel at all times. But, always try to give your partner a soothing atmosphere. Be the reason they will smile after a tough day at work.

d). Secrecy

In a relationship where trust is the building, and secrecy is built as a boy’s quarters, nothing good has been built. Secrecy is how shaded or bright a painting is. While other persons might want to believe that secrets should exist in a relationship, a relationship is a connection between two or more people driven by love or sexual attraction. When the main purpose of a relationship is laid out, the connection is at the center.

Research recently published in Personal Relationships, a study where 292 undergraduate students and 249 adults recruited via Amazon Mechanical Turk were asked questions regarding the experience of keeping a secret from their relatives or spouse and how it has impacted their relationship. The research was done by Alisa Bedrov, a Ph.D. student at the University of California, Santa Barbara.

The general conclusion from the research was that secrecy becomes a habit, especially after a time, and you don’t even get to notice its effect on your relationship. It reduces trust and commitment to truth. That is one of the First Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship. Avoid keeping secrets from your partner, especially important ones.

3. The Mental Life

a). Hostility and Harshness

Hostility is a means of draining the emotional commitment in any two love birds. Where one is always a victim of the hardness or harshness of the other, the latter keeps a vague collection of attitudes to haunt the other.

When you use uninvited behavior to keep your partner feeling unsafe, you can be physically present, yet, invisible and willfully hurting your partner.

Physical violence is totally out of the game. It’s a no-no. That is usually not displayed during the initial periods. But, first signs of an unhealthy relationship like anger, and malice can be a pointer to a hostile partner. Watch out for those warning signs and save yourself from getting hurt in the future.

Final Words


When your relationship is healthy, it helps you build your self-confidence, and you won’t thirst for happiness. When you keep a healthy relationship, you will discover that you and your partner add value to yourselves and keep cheering each other up together without imbalance.

If you notice your partner pays more price to get everything going, brace up and dust yourself. Bridge the imbalance and build that lovely relationship together.

Life is too short to keep your emotional health long in a toxic environment. Pick up your pieces and eye goggles; be alert and do what is right. Hopefully, you’ve learned something new from these First Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship. I wish you luck as you become a better person for a beautiful future.

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