When A Guy Says He Needs To Focus On Himself: 10 Possible Interpretations

9 minutes read

Imagine you have just met a guy; he seems like a great guy and you guys are getting along well. Over time, things seem to be getting more serious and a day doesn’t pass without talking to him. You think he likes you because he gives you so much attention and seems to care about you.

But what happens ?One day, he picks up his phone to tell you or send you a message saying, ‘ I like you but I’m sorry, I need to focus on myself.’  You want to understand him but there are so many possible interpretations of this. You don’t know the possible meanings of these words. You thought you had something good but when a guy says he needs to focus on himself, it doesn’t seem like you have something good

If you are trying to figure out what it means when a guy says he needs to focus on himself, don’t do it alone; let’s save you the trouble of figuring it all out alone. Let’s look at some of the possible meanings and interpretations of what he means.

What It Means When He Says He Needs To Focus On Himself

1. He has lost interest in you

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Most times, guys might not have enough boldness and courage to tell you that they have lost interest in you. They look for an indirect way to put it to you so that it doesn’t appear that they are trying to hurt your feelings. When a guy says he needs to focus on himself, one of the things such words could mean is that he has lost interest in you.

However, even before he says this word, you would have noticed some of his attitude, which indicates that he has lost interest in you, if you were observant. Some of the things you might notice are that he no longer gives you attention and will always come up with excuses for not having your time; he might even start complaining about everything you do. If you have noticed these signs and he tells you that he needs to focus on himself, it means he is no longer interested in you.

2. He is scared of commitment

When a guy says he needs to focus on himself, it might be that he is scared of commitment. It’s not all guys who are ready for something serious. He might just be flirting with you and have no intention of getting serious with you. Once he notices that you are catching feelings and taking things seriously, he definitely needs an excuse.

An excuse that would not make him look like a playboy or an unserious person to you. So if he tells you he needs to focus on himself, it’s possible that he is scared of commitment.

3. He likes you but he has somethings going on in his life that he needs to sort out

Maybe he truly needs to focus on himself. When a guy says he needs to focus on himself, he might be telling the truth. He might need to figure out some things about himself and put things in place.

Maybe he is in some situations that he doesn’t like and he needs to sort things out. It’s not like he doesn’t like you but he feels like having you in his life at that time might not be the best decision.

He might be trying to take a break because he does not want you to get involved in his own mess. Maybe he needs personal development or is trying to work to improve his finances. He might come back to you when he gets his life together and gets things sorted.

4. He is trying to figure out if he truly wants you

There are different ways and approaches guys use in trying to figure out if they truly want to be with a lady. When a guy says he needs to focus on himself, it could be that he is trying to figure out if he wants to be with you. He needs some time to think and be sure he is making the right decision. Hearing him say to you that he needs to focus on himself can be hurtful, but give him the space he needs and focus on yourself as well. He will come around if he still wants to be with you.

5. He likes someone else

Getting an ‘I need to focus on myself’ message from a guy sounds like a break up text. Even though the guy is trying not to make you feel this way, this is how it feels. This is because you don’t know exactly what a guy is up to when he says he needs to focus on himself.

If a guy finds another girl that he is interested in and is trying to focus on the relationship, do you expect him to tell you that he likes someone else?  Of course he wouldn’t do that, so telling you that he needs to focus on himself might just be a perfect excuse for him to detach himself from you completely to focus on the other woman.

6. He is overwhelmed by stress

When a guy is going through so much stress it can become so overwhelming that he might not have time for you. It’s not his fault that he feels this way; he just needs to focus on himself and prioritize his needs and mental health. He can feel that handling a relationship with stress will be too much for him and he can’t cope with it.

If you notice that he has been going through so much stress and he tells you that he wants to focus on himself, it’s important that you give him time and allow him to focus on his priorities. Don’t pressure him; you can let him know that you understand that he is going through a lot of stress and that you support him. But don’t be desperate about it or force him to do anything. If he wants you, he will come back to you.

7. He might be angry with you

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Did you just have a misunderstanding with him and he told you he needed to focus on himself ? Well, maybe he is mad at you for something you did or said. If this is the case, you will know because you can tell he is angry, and you will be able to figure out that it’s because you have done something that got him annoyed.

In this case, all you need is an open conversation where you can discuss and trash things out. Apologize to him if you are wrong and let him know you are genuinely sorry for hurting his feelings. This will go a long way in your relationship.

8. He just wants to be alone

When a guy says he needs to focus on himself, it’s not as deep as you think. He probably just needs some personal space and wants to be alone. He has no intention to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad in any way. Maybe you are too much in his space and he needs a little break. Just give him the space. He’ll come around.

9. He might feel that the feeling is not mutual

Do you know that the issue might not even be with the guy himself? What if it’s you? Yes, maybe he feels that the feeling is not reciprocated or that he is not getting the same attention he is giving you from you. It might be tiring if all the attention is coming from you.

He might not tell you this is how he feels but he can tell you that he needs to focus on himself just to see your reaction and know if you care about him. He is trying to confirm if the feeling he has is not one-sided; he wants to see if it would be easy for you to dismiss him or try to make any effort to make things work between you. Making an effort to let things work will help  him confirm that you care about him as well.

10. He might need to prioritize his mental health and emotional well-being

Finally, when a guy says he needs to focus on himself, he is not being mean or heartless. Maybe he needs to focus on his mental health.

If he feels there is a particular mental health issue that he needs to address, which would demand his time and require him to focus on himself, have some personal time to readjust, do some reassessment and meditate, that’s him focusing on himself; he is prioritizing his mental health and he doesn’t want to lose focus.

Conclusion

Sometimes trying to figure out what it means when a guy says he needs to focus on himself can be hard. This is because this could mean so many things and figuring it out might just be your own assumptions. It might be different from the true intent of the guy. Some of the things that we have mentioned above are possible interpretations but how can you figure out the exact interpretation?

This is why it is important that you ask questions; you need to have an open conversation with the guy to clarify things and know what he means. This will help you confirm and be really sure of what it means when a guy says he needs to focus on himself.

 

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