A lot of people in relationships struggle with anxiety, which brings about overthinking and constant paranoia. Sadly, this kind of overthinking usually affects relationships in many ways, it doesn’t matter if the relationship is platonic or romantic.
Overthinking tends to create issues that may lead to other issues and this can result in misunderstandings, unnecessary tension, bitter arguments, bridged communication and eventually breakups. Sometimes overthinking may start as a result of something unhealthy your friend or partner did or said. In all, the tips given below would help you overcome situations of overthinking in your life.
Are you an overthinker? This is for you. If you’re yet to realize if you’re an overthinker, you should understand that overthinking is simply putting too much weight on things that do not weigh so much. The tendency to overthink comes from a place of concern for things that may not be materially present; you’re just obsessed over something that isn’t even real.
Overthinking plays out in scenarios like this: for instance, a lady saw her husband talking with a friend or work colleague, and her mind suddenly went into overdrive. She starts worrying if her husband likes the other woman or if he’s planning to cheat on her. She’ll even go as far as confronting the woman and her husband, accusing them of cheating. That alone can blow up on her face and secure her as a foe. It can also lead to a fallout between her and her husband over humiliating him in public.
Here’s another instance: A guy’s girlfriend works the night shift, he’s used to her morning routine so the night shift caught him off guard without a means to adjust his schedule. He keeps waiting for her to come back at night, pacing the room and worrying about her whereabouts. He may even drive down to her work place at night putting himself in possible danger when his girlfriend is safe at work.
See, overthinking is not anyone’s friend. Research shows that women have a 75% tendency to overthink and be immobilized by it, while men have a 43% tendency.
Another study shows that 73 percent of adults between ages 25 and 35 are overthinkers and 52 percent of 45 to 55-year-olds are overthinkers. That’s actually beyond average.
Overthinking in a relationship affects you and your relationship negatively. You unknowingly drive away potential friends and partners, ruining your mental, physical and emotional energy. Apologizing to your partner for overthinking is now a must because you must have put them in an uncomfortable situation.
How to apologize for overthinking in a relationship; 5 steps to make it work
If you really want to apologize for overthinking in a relationship, you should take these steps. In this case, you do not jump into the apology without trying to make yourself better. You work on yourself first so that you can learn to be in better control of your thoughts and feelings and reduce overthinking.
1. Recognize the patterns
It looks like everyone tends to overthink at some point. Our lives are filled with various challenges and issues, and keeping a level head all the time seems pretty difficult. However, in all these, take a pause. No one understands your life, thoughts and feelings better than you.
Recognizing your thought pattern will help you deal with overthinking. How? You’ll be able to sort out your feelings based on how they occur; you’ll be able to pinpoint your triggers and learn to avoid them or deal with them when they surface.
Moreover, you’ll be able to act accordingly by questioning yourself and giving yourself a response you will abide by when these patterns show up. Additionally, keeping a journal to write out your thoughts and feelings will help you recognizing the patterns of overthinking.
2. Process your emotions and feeling
After recognizing your thoughts, patterns and triggers, the next step is to process those feelings. What situations bring the worst thoughts to mind? What can you do to put it at bay?
Have you taken time to observe yourself through your own lens to see if you’re okay with yourself? If you really want to apologize for overthinking in a relationship then working on yourself is a list because you cannot afford to go back to something you’ve apologized for. Practicing mindfulness will help you stay tuned with your inner self.
3. Have an open conversation with your partner or friend to explain your behavior
Your partner has been on the receiving end of your outbursts and paranoia; they definitely deserve an explanation. In an open and honest conversation, lay all your cards on the table.
Your partner has to understand you in order to help you. You should be open to criticism, constant checks and honest feedback if you really desire to apologize in a sincere manner.
4. Accept your fault and take responsibility
It’s one thing to apologize; it’s another thing to accept that you were at fault and take responsibility for your actions. Did you falsely accuse your partner because of mistrust, or did you mistakenly burn a part of your kitchen because of an irrational fear? Own it up. Take your fall so you can learn to stand upright again.
Overthinking can keep you from reaching out for help when you need it, hence the constant mistakes you keep making. True remorse means you admit your error without throwing blame around. This also means you shouldn’t blame yourself; sometimes these things happen no matter how one tries to avoid them. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
5. Seek professional help where needed and give room for self-improvement
Sometimes overthinking may go beyond what you can control. In this case, seeking help from a health professional should be your next stop. While seeing a professional, keep helping yourself stay on track by practicing mindfulness to keep your thoughts in check.
On a final note
Overthinking is a habit that can ruin strong relationships because it creates unnecessary stress and problems. However, apologizing for overthinking is a sure way to make things right. It may not be much but it can bridge the gap and rekindle the bond between your friends or partner.
Trying to make yourself better is the best apology you can render yourself, so do not take the above tips for granted. You might also be worried that your partner may not accept your apology. Try not to overthink that either; give your partner time to process everything and forgive you in their own time because what you can’t do is force forgiveness.
Moreover, to speed things up, act like someone who’s truly sorry and show them that you are willing and able to make a change.