12 Subtle Signs He’s Not Interested After First Date

11 minutes read

Many ladies always expect a second date after the first one. Especially when we had prepared ourselves—best dressed, had high hopes, posture, had our nails done, etc.—for the first date. Don’t be confused about it. A man who still has an interest in you after your first date will not compromise his feelings and actions toward you.

A relationship involves actions. Where one’s treasure is, there will be his heart. Love isn’t forced, and relationships aren’t either. If he still has you in mind, his actions after your first day will say a lot. After a first date, it can be challenging to determine someone’s level of interest. It’s very important to know these and be sure, so you can make the right decision early.

By the end of this article, you’ll know the 12 signs he’s not interested in you after the first date.

Subtle Signs to Know if He’s Not Interested After First Date

1. Lack Of Communication

If he suddenly becomes cold and doesn’t communicate with you as usual—he doesn’t reach out or respond to your messages promptly—then it’s undeniable that he’s not interested in you again. If he suddenly doesn’t call as usual, rather he gives you a million reasons and excuses on why he couldn’t call like before, he’s just gradually withdrawing and pulling off his commitment. He probably doesn’t want you to feel the breakup so much. He doesn’t also want to be rude, thereby avoiding an awkward conversation.

A guy who is into you will not stay that long without communicating with you because his heart is with you. The feeling is natural. The relationship isn’t forced. This isn’t 1940 when communication was hard because there was no technology then. There are many ways for him to communicate with you if his heart is with you. If he doesn’t text or call you after the first date to make sure you got home safe, to express his happiness, or to say he had a nice time with you, then it is almost certain the relationship will have a kiss of death, and he probably doesn’t have an interest in planning for a second date.

2. Cancel Or Postpone Plans

Another sign he’s no longer interested in a second date is that he keeps postponing or giving excuses each time you both are supposed to hang out. He keeps making lame excuses for not planning a second date. He frequently cancels or postpones plans without offering a clear alternative.

He will always ghost you. Your persistence to always reach him will always look as if you’re pestering him. If this is the case, just know that you both aren’t going anywhere in that relationship, and he doesn’t have any further interest in going on a second date with you.

3. He Makes Short And Monosyllabic Responses


Nataliya Vaitkevich, Pexels

To know that a guy doesn’t have an interest in going on a second date with you again is also through his responses. When he does respond, his messages are brief and lack enthusiasm or depth. His responses are monosyllabic, like ‘yea, no, I see, ok, etc’. He isn’t detailed, not opening up to say more. When you see this sign, don’t bother yourself too much. Just know that everything ended on the first date

4. He Talked About His Ex

While It’s good to talk about one’s ex, also watch it if you are on a date with a guy and he keeps on ranting about his ex all through your conversations. Like, every sentence and word has the initials of his ex. He wouldn’t stop talking about them. It shows he doesn’t really like your date with him. It also shows disrespect.

Mentioning one’s ex on a first date is not a red flag. In a bid to share his details with you, he can mention how long his last relationship was or what he learned from it. But if he keeps saying things about his ex (even if they are negative) or goes on about her and not just the date with him and your relationship, he is most definitely still hung up on her. And you probably won’t go far with him because he is still with her emotionally. This is enough of a sign that he’s not interested after the first date.

5. He Was Frequently On His Phone


Monstera, Pexels

A date should be a time of total focus, concentration, and emotional bonding. Except if he’s raising the dead from his phone, there is no reason for him to frequently be on the phone during your first date. If he constantly checks his phone, it is not a good sign. It shows he was distracted and not really into you. He had something else on his mind. If that is the case, he just isn’t that interested in your conversation. That might as well be the reason he lost interest after the first date.

6. Avoiding Physical/Eye Contact

It’s an obvious fact there won’t be a second date if there was a lack of physical contact or if he seemed very uncomfortable having physical or eye contact with you during the first date. While it’s not advisable to be all over each other during the first date, it’s also very normal to have physical contact, like holding hands or having eye contact, during conversations. If he’s not into you, he will avoid making eye contact with you during the date.

It also shows there’s no chemistry or spark between you two. It’s this body chemistry you get on your first date, and you want another. It becomes an issue if that feeling isn’t mutual. It means that even if you felt chemistry, he may not have.

A great way to figure this out is through his body language – eye contact. Were his arms crossed all through the date? Was he looking away from you, avoiding eye contact? If so, he may have felt nothing. If his body was facing you, did he make eye contact, touch, or hold your hand or arm while talking? If so, he probably felt something. If not, sorry.

7.   Engaging With Others

While it’s not abnormal to chat with others on a date, it’s so disrespectful for him to just be interested in people around him rather than you. This is distracted or disinterested behavior. You should be the center of his interactions during the date. When they seem preoccupied or unengaged during the conversation or the date itself rather than focusing on you, it’s not a good sign. Seeing this should tell you that a second date might not be possible.

8. He Doesn’t Get Too Personal

It’s a sign that the second date will not happen if he doesn’t ask personal questions about you. While It’s okay not to get too personal on a first date, this guy avoids even the most basic of questions. A guy who has an interest in going further with you, will ask you questions and answer personal questions.

If he doesn’t, it means he’s not interested in getting to know you, and vice versa. It’s possible he wasn’t interested after the first date because he didn’t show much curiosity or ask many questions about your life, interests, hobbies, experiences, passions, or activities. If there was a noticeable absence of these during the date, then he’s not going to call for a second date.

9. No Compliments On Your Appearance

Going on a date for the first time is always exciting, and it’s expected that he compliments your appearance. This will go a long way toward showing he really likes you. No compliments or positive remarks on your appearance; not mentioning anything positive about your physical appearance or style is a sign he’s not into you, and a second date may not be possible. Your appearance should excite him to say lovely and beautiful things about you.

10. You Have Opposite Lifestyles/Disagree On Everything

Another sign that he might not be interested in you and won’t ask for a second date Is that there’s no common ground between you both. There’s no compromise, you’ve got different opinions, lifestyles, and belief systems. Two can’t walk/work together unless they agree. You may have an open mind about opposing his political views, which is something you are fine with, but he feels awkward and frowns at your opinion.

Sometimes, he might not tell you to your face but will prefer to change the subject and ghost. Was there an awkward moment during your first date that you overlooked? Do you have different religious beliefs or plans for the future? Something that seems minor to you may be a big deal to him.

Having an opposite lifestyle can be another major reason why a lot of second dates don’t happen. Even if you felt that spark and had a nice time, he may not see a future with you. Another scenario is that you’re a private person and a loner. You like to always stay at home reading and have one glass of wine on weekends. While he likes to go to the bar every weekend and travels a lot, or vice versa. It could become an issue down the line, and that alone can end a relationship and kill his interest.

11. He Was Too Good And Flattery

Inasmuch as it’s certain that some guys are really that great, it isn’t always something you see on the first date. This isn’t telling you to be suspicious of goodness, but too much goodness can be a sign of unseriousness and a red flag. Nobody is perfect, and if everything is sparkling and wonderful, there’s a chance it’s just flattering you. He is saying all the right things and making you feel all the good feelings so as to get you emotionally as a great charmer or even lure you to sex. Then, if you didn’t give him what he wanted, like s*x, during the first date, he may end everything immediately.

If he was just all over you and you were beyond excited about him on the first date, there is a chance it was all an act to get you. Many have been there, and it stinks to get your hopes up like that and later crush them. This is enough to tell you he’s not interested in you again after the first date.

12. One-Sided Conversation/Early Exit

Another sign he’s not interested in you after the first date is imbalanced conversation. It’s more like you do most of the talking while he only listens and contributes minimally. Or he might still engage in the conversation but dominate most of it, not allowing you to contribute. This also comes as a rushed conclusion to the date. They ended the date abruptly or seemed eager to conclude it without extending the interaction. Again, if he cuts the date short and your date ends early, it’s a solid sign he’s not interested in a second date with you.

It’s also important to note that these signs are subject to one’s personal experience and might not be the same for everyone. People have different communication styles, and sometimes there might be external factors affecting their behavior. Open and honest communication is key to understanding each other’s intentions and feelings, so if you’re unsure, it’s best to have a conversation about it. I hope by now you’ve learned some of the signs that he isn’t interested in you after that first date.

If you’ve experienced these signs, stop worrying about the possibility of a second date, whether he is coming back or not. Don’t waste your time wondering. You have many things to do with your time, so be productive. Even when it hurts, let him go. You weren’t about to walk down the aisle, after all, it was your first date. If he’s not interested in a second date, it isn’t the end of the world. Get over it and move on.


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