You’ve been praying for a good guy for a while, and this guy comes along who ticks all your boxes. Then one day, he no longer takes your calls or answers your messages. He finds an excuse to be absent or unavailable, and you don’t understand what’s going on anymore.
When a guy starts to pull away in a relationship, you feel like your worst nightmare comes to life, and questions flood your mind. What wrong did I do? Where did I miss it? What should I do now? Should I try to fix it? Should I let him go?
It’s natural to feel angry, worried, and confused. In fact, I would be surprised if you didn’t. But the best thing to do when things like this happen is: NOTHING!
I’m saying when a guy pulls away, do nothing. Are you surprised? Don’t be! Does it sound strange? Hear me out. I’ll tell you why doing nothing is the best decision you could ever make on this issue.
In this article, we’re going to dive into the reasons why I said, “When a guy pulls away, do nothing,” and why it works. Let’s get into it.
When A Guy Pulls Away Do Nothing
1. It Shows You Have High Value For Yourself
When a guy pulls away, do nothing, because this shows you value yourself and your time. Do not try to chase him, bombard his phone or social media with messages, or email him countless times. Instead, you just give him space because you are a high value woman.
By not reacting, you show you are secure in yourself. You show you have a life to live outside of him, that you have friends, family, and other interests to focus on, and that your happiness is not dependent on him.
It is easy to forget you were an individual before you met him, doing your own things, pursuing your interests, and excelling. Now that he’s pulled away, you have to remember you are still an individual with goals to pursue and friends to maintain, so you do nothing.
This action of yours will make you look more attractive to him and show him you have boundaries. Guys value a woman who values herself, who is independent and secure in her own position, and doesn’t let fear dictate her actions. So when he pulls away and you do nothing, you reinforce the idea in his mind that you are a high value woman.
2. It Shows You Have The Virtue Of Patience
Despite the fact that everything in our world today moves in the fast lane, the age-old adage “patience is a virtue” remains true in relationships. There is no gain in rushing relationships.
When a guy pulls away, do nothing because this shows you are a patient person. Instead of reacting, asking questions, and prodding him for answers, you are choosing to wait.
You’re choosing to give him space to work out whatever the issue is that caused him to pull away. You’re choosing to give him time to figure himself out and come to a decision. It also means you trust and respect him by coming to a conclusion that will be beneficial for both of you.
You’re willing to meet him halfway.
Waiting can be a tough process, I understand. While waiting, a thousand thoughts may cross your mind, and you wonder if you are making the right decision or not, but trust me on this one.
Your patience will make him believe you both can work out in the long term because, in the future, there might be times when one or both of you pull away from the relationship. It will also inspire respect for you from him. This is one of the foundations for a long lasting relationship.
3. It Shows You Are Not A Control Freak
A control freak is someone who is excessively controlling and domineering. Such a person is obsessed with doing things his own way and gets angry when there is a deviation from the plan.
Most guys pull away in relationships because the woman is very controlling and demanding. He doesn’t feel like his own individual anymore and feels stifled in the relationship.
This might or might not be your case, but when a guy pulls away, do nothing because it emphasizes you’re not a control freak to him.
You show him your relationship is not built on control and that you respect his independence and ability to make his own decisions. It shows you give him space to grow and come to terms with his emotions without your interference. It also shows that you trust him.
This works because it makes the man realize you are not out to dominate his life but that you respect him enough to let him take time to reflect and assess himself without pressuring him. This is a trait that deepens the emotional connection you share.
4. It Shows You Are Happy With Yourself
This is tied to being a high value woman but is also important on its own.
When you chase after a man who is pulling away from you, it may mean that on your own you cannot find or have happiness.
If it’s only with him you feel happy and good about yourself, there’s a serious problem. This means you have low self-esteem and seek constant validation from him. It might also be one of the reasons he pulled away from you because he doesn’t want someone who cannot stand up for herself or be happy in her own company.
Many years ago, I had a guy friend. Then I struggled badly with low self-esteem and thought negatively about myself all the time. I wasn’t happy being by myself, and I drew all my happiness from him.
It was only when he was around that I would be joyful, smile, crack jokes, do things I liked, and pour out my heartaches and burdens to him. One day, he upped and left with no warning. He suddenly stopped taking or returning my calls, wasn’t responding to my text messages, and avoided all the places I might meet him.
I felt heartbroken and downcast, like my whole world was crumbling down. I thought of all the happy memories I had with him and felt I would never experience happiness in my life again.
That time I didn’t know about doing nothing when a guy pulled away, so I bombarded him with calls and messages and even sent people to him. Then a reply came back one day, “Leave me alone”. It was then it dawned on me that I’d been foolish. I was too needy, and it definitely made me look cheap.
You see, I had placed my happiness in a man, and when he pulled away, he pulled the plug and plunged me into sorrow. I had to relearn to be happy on my own. It sure took me a long time to get to the point of happiness on my own.
That’s why this article is before you this moment. When a guy pulls away, do nothing because it shows you do not depend on him for happiness.
If you had placed all your happiness on him, begin to unplace it. Let your friends and family help you find happiness again.
This works because when the guy sees you happy on your own, he’ll know that you never needed him for happiness. It can be good in that he knows that if he comes back and you begin a relationship again, he doesn’t always have to hear sob stories from you again. It can also be good because if he previously used your dependence on him to control you, he no longer has that power over you.
See! A win-win!
5. It Incites Curiosity In Him
Guys feel happy if a girl chases them when they pull away. Now imagine he pulls away and you do nothing about it; his mind runs around trying to decipher what is going on in yours.
He begins to wonder about your lack of reaction, gets curious about what you’re up to and what you’re thinking. It gives him space to think about what made him pull away and if it’s truly worth it.
It turns the tables on him, keeping him on his toes while you go about your own business and pursue your interests. You’ll discover you’re even more focused on your affairs than before.
When a man’s curiosity is piqued, he cannot rest until he figures it out and makes a decision.
This works because it shows him the world does not revolve around him, that you can be an enigma too, and that you respect his space as well. This would help him come to a conclusion on whether to pursue the relationship or not waste his time and say goodbye. It makes it easier for you to adjust if it is a goodbye.
6: It Breaks The Predictability Pattern
Have you seen those movies where a man pulls away from a lady and she chases him every time? It looks sweet and hilarious, but real life isn’t a movie.
When a guy pulls away and you chase him, you set a pattern. You give him the confidence to keep pulling away because you’ll be right there chasing after him. He will treat you anyhow as if you don’t have worth.
Soon it becomes an unending cycle, a habit for when things get tough between you. Now imagine if he pulls away and you do nothing! He is surprised.
When a guy pulls away, do nothing. This surprise will jolt him back to reality and show you have boundaries and deserve respect. It nudges him to rethink his actions and the way he handles his relationships.
It will make him view you in a new light and destroy any stereotypes he had in mind about you.
7. It Redefines The Power Dynamics Of Your Relationship
Every relationship has a power dynamic. There is the one who makes all the decisions, the one who does all the duties, and the one who takes all the blame.
When a guy pulls away, do nothing, as this redefines the dynamics of your relationship. It shows your relationship is not about who chases who or who has more power but about respect, equality, understanding, and love.
8. It Allows You Both To Self-Reflect
This point has been echoed in other points, but it equally deserves a mention.
When a guy pulls away, do nothing, as this gives him time to look at the bigger picture.
Sometimes in a relationship, the partners can forget what truly matters and focus on non-essentials but a period of reflection can clear the haze.
When you do nothing, it gives both of you the opportunity to reassess your relationship, to understand your emotions, yourself, and your partner. This, in turn, enables a deeper, stronger bond between you two if everything gets resolved.
9. It Helps To Avoid Negative Emotions
When a guy pulls away, do nothing. Instead of reacting in anger or resentment, doing nothing will minimize the emotional damage his pulling back creates in your life.
That way, you can both move on without negative feelings if it isn’t resolved.
10. It Enhances Positive Communication
When a guy pulls away, do nothing, because when you give him space to process his feelings, he’ll get to weigh his actions properly to know if he’s doing the right thing. It might also show him you are willing to listen when he is finally ready to share his thoughts.
This makes communication between you two easy and positive.
I hope you’ve seen enough reasons to do nothing when a guy pulls away and why it works.
Now put it into action.