Smash Negativity Team

5 Interesting Types of Questions to Know Someone Better

Meeting an individual that you’re able to click with easily is so refreshing. You know the feeling: The conversation would just flow, everything feels easy, and before you know it, hours have passed by. However, there’s the flip side of that, of course, where, as much as you want to warm up to someone and vice versa, every conversation with them feels terribly rigid. And occasionally, those interactions are unavoidable. (for instance, your very hard-to-impress mother-in-law.)

To get someone else to open up to you or to ask questions to know someone better is an effective strategy to take the lead in getting a little vulnerable. You can get the answers you’re looking for by sometimes answering those questions yourself while communicating about yourself.  An example would look like: ‘I just moved to Georgia last year and found a beautiful community that I fell in love with and purchased a home. What about you, do you love where you live?’

Still, you might want to be mindful of your approach and choose questions to know someone better that don’t feel critical or like an invasion of privacy. Depending on the individual, for example, it might feel safer to avoid questions about political and religious beliefs. Remember, you’re just trying to get to know them, so you can save all those heavy hitters for another time (maybe).

Starting with “breadth questions” is a wonderful way to take any conversation from an awkward small talk to a comfortable real talk. This can include questions about their family, career, et cetera. Topics that get at the other person’s inner world, their thoughts, goals, and dreams will strengthen and increase the bond between two people. Sharing personal information strengthens any relationship, and deeper questions focus on that personal self-disclosure. Luckily, there are a few expert-approved tricks that’ll enable you to get on your A-game.

Some Questions To Use Anytime You Want To Know Someone Better

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Asking someone about their preferences helps you understand who they are as a person. The important thing here is to go deeper by asking some follow-up questions. For example, if you find out that they like dogs, take it a bit deeper by asking them what they like most about their dog or their favorite breed. Commonalities often open the door for further conversation and once that door is open, you can start a dialogue that allows the other person to elaborate and not give close-ended answers. Some other ideas about some questions to ask are:

  1. What’s your favourite way to spend a day off?
  2. What kind of music are you into?
  3. What was the best vacation you ever took and why?
  4. Where’s the next place on your travel bucket list and why?
  5. What are your hobbies, and how did you get into them?
  6. What was your favourite age growing up?
  7. What was the last thing you read?
  8. Would you say you’re more of an extrovert or an introvert?
  9. What was the last TV show you binge-watched?
  10. Are you into podcasts or do you only listen to music?
  11. Do you have a favourite holiday? Why or why not?
  12. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  13. Do you like going to the cinemas to watch movies or prefer watching at home?
  14. How old were you when you had your first celebrity crush, and who was it?
  15. What’s one thing that can instantly make your day better?

2. Family

A great way to questions to know someone better on a more personal level is to learn about the people they love. Furthermore, asking questions about close relationships can lead to stories, and sharing stories leads to connection and an experience of being seen by one another. Below are some ideas of questions you can ask to know someone better:

  1. How much time do you spend with your family?
  2. Who do you most like spending time with and why?
  3. Which family member makes the best food?
  4. How has your opinion of your family changed over the years?
  5. If you’re close with your family, what’s the hardest part about spending time away from them?
  6. Do you wish you had a bigger family, or are you happy with its current size?
  7. Which family member has had the greatest impact on you?
  8. What’s your favorite family memory?
  9. Do you ever wish you were raised differently?
  10. What’s the best piece of advice a family member has ever given to you?
  11. Do you wish you had more siblings? If so, why?
  12. What’s your favorite way to spend time with your family?
  13. How do you show your family that you love them?
  14. What’s your favorite family ceremony?
  15. What’s the most significant holiday you spend with your family and why?

3. Career

No matter how a person feels about their job, the fact is that tons of people spend a lot of time and energy at work. To help you get questions to know someone better, facilitate a conversation where you are left knowing how they feel about their career. Just be prepared to reciprocate the same openness when they ask the same of you and your work life. Initial conversations establish the tone for whether the person wants to continue to get to know you, so be ready to answer some questions as well. Here are some ideas for questions to ask:

  1. Is there one job you’d never do?
  2. What’s the first thing you do after getting home from work?
  3. Who or what inspires you in your career?
  4. How do you approach taking time off from work?
  5. What’s something an outsider wouldn’t know about your industry?
  6. Do you have a morning routine at work? If so, what’s it like?
  7. Are you able to work from home, and if so, do you enjoy it?
  8. Do you get along with all your coworkers?
  9. What’s your favourite thing about your current job?
  10. What annoys you the most about your job?
  11. What’s the career highlight you’re most proud of?

4. Dreams

These questions get at what the person is motivated by. What gives them the strength to wake up every day and get going? What do they dream and think about in their day? When you learn about someone’s dreams, you share something more intimate with them. You can jumpstart a deep conversation by asking these ideas of questions:

  1. Do you think our dreams have concealed meanings?
  2. When you want to give up, what keeps you going?
  3. Do you live by any words of wisdom?
  4. How do you turn a “no” into a “yes”?
  5. Is it easy for you to accept help in achieving your dreams?
  6. If you could do anything, besides what you’re doing now, what would you do?
  7. What do you regret not doing in the last year?
  8. If you had unlimited money to start your own business, what would it be?
  9. If you found out today was your last day on Earth, what would you do?
  10. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
  11. If you could relive one moment in your life, which would it be?
  12. Which famous person in history would you want to spend the day with?
  13. If you could time travel, when and where would you go?
  14. Do you think you’ll likely accomplish all your dreams?
  15. What’s your highest priority in life?

5. Values

In learning about someone’s values, you are learning about their owner’s manual. Even seemingly mundane questions can get at a person’s values, like what’s motivating them to do well on a presentation or what they look for in an individual. By learning about someone’s life philosophy, you would be able to get to their true essence, how they live their life, and what drives their actions. However, you can’t just ask, “What are your values?”. Rather, below are some ideas of questions to get to know someone better and how to ask them:

  1. What do you think makes someone a “good person”?
  2. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  3. How do you show kindness to others?
  4. Do you believe in soulmates? Why or why not?
  5. What do you look for in a friendship?
  6. Do you believe time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time?
  7. What life lessons have you had to learn the hard way?
  8. Do you believe what is meant for you will never miss you?
  9. Have you ever experienced true love, and how did you know?
  10. What’s a relationship deal breaker for you?
  11. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want?
  12. What makes you feel at peace?
  13. What makes you feel most accomplished?
  14. Would you rather make more money doing a job you hate or less doing one you love?
  15. Which of your personality traits are you most proud of?

Final Words

Asking questions to know someone better serves multiple purposes. Firstly, they help us connect with others on a deeper level, facilitating trust and intimacy in our relationships. Secondly, asking questions to know someone better provide us with an opportunity to gain insight into someone’s perspective, experiences, and values, fostering empathy and understanding. Lastly, asking deep questions can also lead to personal growth as we reflect on our own thoughts and beliefs.


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