The friend zone is a position most guys don’t want to be in, especially when the girl in question ticks all the right boxes for what they want.
The problem, however, is that most guys do not know how to respond when a girl says she just wants to be friends.
They wonder what to say, how to react, and what course of action to take. There are many ways to react when a girl says she just wants to be friends, some of which are harmful and others good.
This article will show you the proper way to respond when a girl says she just wants to be friends with you. These tips will help you navigate the relationship or situations and show you how to go on with your merry good life! Read on.
There are two clear options when a girl just wants to be friends; accept it or reject it but first, let’s try to identify how and why you were friend-zoned.
How to Know Why She Friend-zoned You
Search For Hints By Replaying Your Interactions
This is like going down memory lane. Remember all the times you were together when you hung out after classes or work when you went to the movies together or visited together, when you performed tasks together, or other random things you did together.
How did she greet you? Did she use pet names or did she call you “my guy”, “bro”, or “dude”?
Did she shy away when you tried to flirt with her or flirt back with you?
Did she downplay your attempts at romance or deflect your actions to something else when you noticed your romantic leanings?
If your answers point towards non-romantic responses, then truly, she’s not interested in you, thus, you’re friend-zoned!
Check If You Brought Up Relationship Talk Too Early
Talking about starting a relationship a few days into getting to know each other is a red flag for some girls.
The fact that a girl agreed to go out with you on a date doesn’t automatically mean she wants to be in a relationship with you.
Even if she likes you after the first or second date, you should have allowed some time to pass in the midst of your communication before asking her to be in a relationship with you.
You probably scared her off by asking too early and that’s why she just wants to be friends with you now.
She’s Interested In Someone Else But Still Wants You To Remain In Her Life
She might have noticed how good you are to her and how much she’s grown from being with you but isn’t interested in dating you because she has someone else on her mind.
So to avoid losing you, she offers to be just friends with you.
Now that you know how and why you are being put in the friend zone, how can you respond to it?
How To Respond When A Girl Says She Just Wants To Be Friends
Step 1: Accept The Rejection
The first way to respond when a girl says she just wants to be friends is to accept it. Everyone has been rejected at one point or another in the course of relationships. You aren’t the first, and neither would you be the last.
So just accept that she doesn’t want you that way and leave it. Don’t go pestering her to change her mind.
However, before you accept to be friends with her, consider the following options:
- Would you be fine with her dating other men?
- Would you be fine dating other women?
- Are your feelings for her very strong?
If you answered yes to the first two questions and no to the last question, then you can go ahead and be just friends with her. That way, there would be no unresolved feelings in the way.
If you answered no to the first two questions and yes to the last, it’s not wise to try to be just friends with her. This is because you’d feel jealous and upset when she didn’t return your affection.
Step 2: Don’t Enter Into Another Relationship Quickly
This point is very important if you ever hope to change her mind and get out of the friend zone.
Entering into another relationship quickly would confirm to the girl that you never really liked or were interested in her. Maybe you just liked the idea of being with her or only wanted her for the benefits she brings, or even for sex. She might even think you were using her to make another girl jealous. No girl wants to feel used, ever!
If you think you would make her jealous by doing that or get her to reconsider being in a relationship with you, then you should know you’ve lost all points with her. She wouldn’t even want to remain friends with you again. Either way, you lost her.
Step 3: Post Your Highlights On Social Media
Don’t worry, this doesn’t make you petty or anything. You cannot suspend your life because she says she just wants to be friends.
If you are active on social media, continue to be. Post the happy stuff that happens to you or a rundown of your activities or whatever makes you happy.
If you’re not active on social media, go out for fun activities that you know she would see you at or know about. After all, she wants to be friends, right? So why should she be concerned about what’s going on in your life?
This suggestion has a double implication, though. On the one hand, you are moving on with your life and open to meeting new people and eventually forming a new relationship, on the other hand, you want her to know what she’s missing out on, especially if you want her to change her mind and reconsider. Chances are, if she still likes you, she’ll reach out to you.
Step 4: Reject Her Offer And Try To Negotiate
This is a good way to respond when a girl says she wants to be just friends with you and you don’t want to. This method is the best to use if you notice she likes you and is just afraid to move forward, or if you brought up the idea of a relationship so quickly.
You could offer to take it slow and see where it leads because you are not interested in being romantically linked with her. This puts the ball back in her court – you’re not pressuring her, and you’re giving her time to carefully consider if she truly wants to be in a relationship with you.
It is also a sign of confidence on your part because you know what you want and are going for it. If she accepts, hurrays! If she doesn’t, let it go.
Step 5: Walk Away
This is the final way to respond if a girl says she wants to be just friends with you.
This article reiterates that you shouldn’t beg her to change her mind. It is something most girls despise and won’t stand for.
Rather, you try to reproposition her as in step 3, and if it doesn’t work, walk away.
Walking away comes with the implication that she has something to lose. If she wants to date other men and still keep you as a friend because of the value you bring her, you take away that option by refusing to be friends with her. She’s lost!
When you choose to walk away and do it, you affirm to her that you are confident in yourself and not desperate. That alone can even make her change her mind and choose a relationship with you, because if you’re valuable to her as a friend, how much more as a partner?
It’s very possible that in the future, if she can’t find anyone as good as you if she misses you, or if she realizes she’s romantically interested in you, she will find a way to reach out to you. See! Win-win.
This option is so much better than accepting to be friends if you have the slightest romantic interest in her.
In conclusion, this article has attempted to show guys how to respond if a girl says she wants to be just friends. Beginning from the root cause of why she wants to be just friends and pointing out the five ways to respond to that statement by the girl you’re interested in.
It is important to note that this article is not in any way enforcing the choices on you while reiterating that being friend-zoned when you have a romantic interest in her is going to demoralize you and affect your future relationships.
This article would love to end with this story, hoping you’ll learn a thing or two from it.
There was this guy who’d liked this girl since high school but never said a word to her. After high school, she went on to university, and somehow both of them ended up in the same city. She didn’t really know the guy since he was a year ahead of her in high school.
Using social media, he launched communication, and eventually, they became friends. He remained friends with her for years while harboring romantic interests, but he still never said a word to her.
When he eventually broached the topic indirectly, she said she wasn’t interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with him. He tried to change her mind, but it wasn’t working. He became jealous each time she posted other guys on her social media or was very cordial with them, and he guilted her into feeling she was playing him, whereas she had said she wasn’t interested.
She eventually decided to cut off her friendship with him as she discovered it was harming both of them, but he never gave up. He guilted her into thinking she was abandoning him because he wasn’t rising as fast as she was in the economic space in which they both operated. He later agreed to be friends and pretended to be okay with it while he suffered in silence.
Since she didn’t have a boyfriend, he hoped to change her mind eventually, while she had no such thought. A few years later, she introduced her boyfriend to him and watched in amazement how he tore to pieces. He was so heartbroken and accused her of playing him all those years. She was dumbfounded and wondered if she hadn’t made it clear all along that she didn’t have any romantic interest in him.
Consider the story. Does it look familiar? This outcome would have been avoided if he knew how to respond when she said she wanted to just be friends.
The choices are before you, consider them carefully and choose the best option for you. Always hoping you make the right choice.