Olajumoke Oyaleke

How to Deal with Jealousy in 7 Helpful Ways

Jealousy, Relationship

It is important that we understand how to deal with jealousy because jealousy is a feeling that can breed negative thoughts and make people do unthinkable things. A jealous person can take action out of rage and do things that can hurt them or other people around them. This is because jealousy, when not well handled, can lead to anger.

There have been many recorded cases of people hurting other people they sense as rivals out of jealousy. We have seen cases where jealous wives or husbands send people to beat up, kidnap or molest people they sense as rivals.

They would only come back to their senses and see the gravity of what their action had caused when the deed had been done. This would have been avoided if they knew how to deal with jealousy. It is human nature to feel jealous when we sense rivalry or have the feeling that we are about to lose something or someone special to another person.

Sometimes, low self-esteem can cause jealousy. For example, a girl who has low self-esteem can start feeling jealous of other girls because she feels that they are better than her. She can be jealous of the way they look if she does not feel confident or good about her body. She might be jealous of the way they speak because she feels she is not a better speaker.

The people she is jealous of are innocent and unaware of her feelings towards them. This means that people do not necessarily have to do things to us before we get jealous. We can get jealous because of our personal beliefs or what we believe in. The girl in this case is jealous because she believes that other people are better than her.

However, before we examine how to deal with jealousy, let us even find out why people get jealous.

Why Do People Get Jealous?

  • Lack of trust

Lack of trust in people can make people jealous because they are not sure if their interests are being protected by the people around them. That they become very suspicious of their actions.

  • Low self esteem

A person who has low self-esteem can become jealous of others because she feels inferior to them.

  • Comparison with other people

People who are found to be comparing themselves to others may be jealous because they want to have the things that other people have. This jealousy may lead them to feel confident enough to do things that they are not supposed to do. This is because they want to live their lives according to other people’s standards.

  • Unhealthy competition

It is a good thing to be competitive but it becomes bad when it becomes unhealthy and when desperation sets in. Some people are always in competition with others because they do not want others to get ahead of them. This can breed jealousy in the minds of such people.

  • Trauma from past relationship(s)

People who have been through emotional damage at one point or another in their past relationships with people might struggle to rely on others because they are scared that what happened in their past will repeat itself again.

Here are some of the reasons why people feel jealous. Let’s consider how to deal with jealousy.

How to Deal with Jealousy

1. Find out the cause of your jealousy

In dealing with any problem, we need to understand the cause of the problem before a solution is diagnosed. This is the first step you should also consider if you want to deal with jealousy. We have examined some reasons why people feel jealous.

You need to know what exactly you are jealous of—are you jealous because you are not getting enough attention or because you feel other people are better than you? Or maybe it is a result of comparison. You need to figure out why you are jealous.

This will help you know how to handle the jealousy from here. Other points that will be presented in this article will provide different solutions for different causes of jealousy.

2. Express your feelings to the concerned person

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One of the mistakes that people make when they are jealous is that they fail to talk about their feelings with whomever is making them jealous. It is okay if you are jealous because you are scared of losing the person and you should not be shy about telling them how their actions make you feel.

They will understand that it is out of your love and concern for them. Keeping the feeling to yourself will not make you feel any better. Talking about it will make you understand their actions instead of making things up in your head and trying to draw a conclusion without having a full understanding of what is going on. Sometimes, you may even be wrong about your perception or the way you think.

Concealing this feeling within yourself will only make you continue feeling the pain when they are not even aware of how you feel or how their action makes you feel. Does it make sense to you now why you need to talk about how you feel to concerned people? This is how to deal with jealousy.

3. Discover your strength and value it

Sometimes, people may feel jealous because they have little belief in themselves and because other people are better than them.  A lot of things could cause this feeling; lack of confidence, negative self-image, unrealistic expectations and constant rejection from past relationships can all be contributing factors to the way people see themselves.

They feel that other people are better than them and they become jealous of those people because they wish to have the things that those people have. In this kind of situation, it is important that you find your strength and focus on it. Look inward and find that thing that makes you stand out from others. Nobody has it all. Focusing on your strengths and valuing yourself or what you have is how to deal with jealousy and overcome low self-esteem.

4. Practise Gratitude

How to deal with jealousy is also to be appreciative of the things you have, which can help you overcome jealousy. Someone’s reason for being jealous can be because they see their friends or colleagues achieving things that they also want to have. It makes them feel that other people are luckier than them and makes them not appreciate the things that they have.

Appreciating the things you have or being thankful makes you content and peaceful, which will prevent you from feeling jealous of other people. This does not mean that you are settling; you are only being content and thankful while hoping for the best.

5. Be Genuinely Happy for Others

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Everything associated with jealousy breeds negativity. Some people can constantly find themselves getting jealous of their friends and everyone around them because they do not know how to be happy for other people or how to celebrate them for their success or achievement. People like this can get jealous; they want good things to come to them all the time. You have to learn how to wish other people well and celebrate them with the expectation that yours will come.

6. Overcome Fear

Fear of losing others or being left out by others can be the reason why some people might be jealous. This can be a result of trauma from past relationships; maybe they have constantly been rejected by the people they once truly cared for.

This experience can make them live in fear and insecurity because they are afraid of the things in their past repeating themselves again. In order to overcome this fear, you have to learn how to build trust with people so that you do not have to live in fear around them.

This is also how to deal with jealousy, You may have to seek the help of a professional to help you deal with this trauma in your life that causes fear.

7.  Do not compare yourself to others

Comparison is a killer of joy. What comparing yourself to other people does to you is take away your happiness and replace it with envy and jealousy. Especially in a world where people now seek validation on social media platforms. People want to show off what they have, the house they acquired, the cars they own, the business deals they just signed and all that.

If you listen to the noise on social media comparing yourself to other people, it may make you jealous. You need to understand that people will only show you the things they want you to see on social media You do not know what some of these people are going through. This is why you need to stop comparing yourself to others and pay attention to yourself because your time will come.

In conclusion, as humans, we also have no control over other people’s actions. However, there is something you can control, something you have power over and that is the way you react to things when they happen to you.

You should not allow negativity in your heart. Always try to overcome negative thoughts with positive ones when you feel jealous and do not dwell on it too much. Do not forget to focus on yourself and whatever may make you jealous, give it time. Time has a way of lessening the intensity of jealousy.


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