Olajumoke Oyaleke

How To Deal With Insecurities In A Relationship: 6 Trusted Ways

Dating, Dating Tips For Men, Dating Tips For Women, Love and Relationship, Relationship

How to deal with insecurities in a relationship is something very important for us to consider because a lot of relationships are affected by this issue of insecurity.

When we say there are insecurities in a relationship, what do we even mean? Or what does the word insecurity itself mean?

Insecurity refers to a feeling of uncertainty or an inadequate feeling about oneself.

When one person is insecure in a relationship, it becomes hard for the relationship to function well.

You cannot successfully build a relationship where insecurity exists; such relationships always end well.

Imagine planting a crop on infertile soil. Two things may happen: either it dies or it does not bear the good feet as we desire.

In the same way, when one partner feels insecure in a relationship, it may cause the end of the relationship.

Let me also quickly add that insecure people are always worried and agitated.

These people do not have peace in their relationship because they always feel suspicious and are always trying to investigate their partner.

Have you seen or heard of insecure spouses who hire people to monitor their spouse’s movements?

That is how extreme people with insecurity issues can go.

This is why we need to learn how to deal with insecurities in a relationship because everyone deserves a peaceful and happy relationship.

However, there are a lot of things that cause someone to feel insecure in a relationship. We need to understand some of these causes before we consider how to deal with insecurities in a relationship.

Causes of Insecurities In A Relationship

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Low self-esteem: The way people see themselves plays a significant role in their relationships with other people.

People who do not have confidence in themself and do not believe in themselves will always feel insecure in a relationship.

This is because they feel like they do not deserve anything good that comes to them. They feel other people are better than them and even when love comes to them they feel like they do not deserve it.

They find it hard to take the love and affection that comes to them. This low self-esteem can be a result of constant bullying or criticism.

People who have been bullied by others that they can not stand up for themselves find it hard that good things can come to them.

Bullying is a very wicked act that no one should ever be made to go through.

The How to Protect your mental health of people who are bullied is usually greatly affected. When this kind of person finally finds themselves in a relationship even when they are shown all the love and affection in the world they still question this feeling because of their experience.

Criticism hurts people who have constantly been criticized by the people around them and they eventually lose their confidence. Which all comes into play negatively in the person’s relationship.

Past Trauma: Many times, our actions and feelings are influenced by past experiences. Insecurity in a relationship can be a result of emotional damage or hurt from their past relationship with people.

It could be that they have experienced constant rejection from their partners who they might have had so much trust in. It might be hard for people like this to recover from such painful experiences which happened in their past.

It becomes especially hard if they were hurt by someone they once trusted, trusting someone else becomes very hard and they are afraid of having to go through the same hurtful experience they once had in their past. Insecurity then sets in.

They are constantly suspicious and worry about everything that their partner does or says. They doubt every action of their partner because they were made to believe that the love shown to them by the person in their past was genuine until they were hurt.

The trauma in their past may cause fear of being rejected or neglected

Healing and moving on from past trauma can be hard, which is why people who have not healed from their past are not emotionally prepared to be in another relationship. It is going to come with a lot of mental stress, constant arguments, nagging, and doubt.

Uneven Commitment To The Relationship: There is something people say about matching energy. You will usually hear people say things like, ‘If your energy does not match my energy, I can not be your friend.’ Yes, it’s the same in a relationship.

Insecurity can develop when a partner starts to feel like she is the one giving more in the relationship than the other person.

This can make a person start thinking that they are not loved by their partner.

They may begin to question their partner’s love, and they may start thinking that they are seeing someone else or that they are emotionally attached to or romantically engaged with other people.

Secrets and Lies: There is a reason why people who are in a relationship are often advised not to lie or keep secrets. It is because it can cause issues in a relationship.

Imagine when one partner suddenly learns something about the other person from an external source You can imagine how hurt they will be; it makes them feel like they have been fooled all their entire life.

The same goes for lies. When your partner discovers that you are truthful, they find it hard to believe you. This can cause insecurity in the relationship as they no longer trust your words or  actions.

Infidelity: This is a very serious issue in a relationship. Things like this are better avoided because it is usually hard to sustain a relationship with infidelity.

In a situation where one partner is found cheating, it is hard to trust such a partner should the relationship continue.

One partner is afraid of the second partner going to their vomit, even if they claim to have let go of such an act. People will say forgive and forget.

It is easier said than done, and while that act may be forgiven, it cannot be forgotten. This alone can cause insecurity in a relationship. This person may have to seek the help of professionals to ensure a smooth relationship.

Here are some of the things that can cause insecurities in a relationship: Since we have been able to identify some of these issues, let’s consider how to deal with insecurities in a relationship.

Pay attention, because you are about to get a great remedy if you are experiencing insecurity.

How To Deal With Insecurities In A Relationship

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1. Identify The Cause

Identifying the cause of insecurity will help you discover how to deal with insecurities in a relationship.

By identifying the cause of a problem, half of that problem is already solved. I have already mentioned different things that may make people feel insecure, they are different things for different people.

Now what you need to do is ask yourself questions, find out what makes you feel insecure, and get answers to those questions. If you can identify what makes you feel insecure about your partner in a relationship, you’ll find these tips below beneficial to your relationship.

2. Practice Self Love

Practicing self-love will be very beneficial to partners in dealing with insecurity in a relationship. For someone who experiences an inferiority complex, you need to believe in yourself and have confidence in your abilities.

You need to start seeing yourself as someone who deserves better things. When love comes to you, accept it with all your heart and do not ever feel like you do not deserve it. You deserve it and even more.

Genuinely developing self-love will reduce the feeling of insecurity in a relationship.

It also helps you prevent yourself from having to seek validation and constant reassurance from your partner about how they feel about you because you do not believe in the good things they say about you.

This is how to deal with insecurities in a relationship if you have low self-esteem.

3. Have open Open with Your Partner

There is a saying that it takes two to tango. It takes two people to make a relationship work perfectly.

The best way to deal with insecurities in a relationship is by having an open conversation with your partner.

If you are feeling insecure in a relationship, you must talk to your partner about it. Let them know how you feel and what triggers that.

This will help them know how to help, and they should also help you. It makes them understand your feelings and your perspective.

You do not have to deal with insecurity alone, you need their support to make your relationship work.

4. Trust Your Partner

If your relationship with someone has to work out, you must learn to trust your partner. It is very important, I do not know how a relationship without trust will succeed.

The reason why so many people feel insecure in a relationship is because they do not trust their partner.

If you do not trust your partner, there is no way you can overcome insecurity in that relationship.

Trust will help you feel at peace and less worried about your partner’s actions or behaviour.

You do not constantly have to be suspicious about them and always think that there is something fishy about their movement.

This is why trusting your partner is one of the ways to deal with insecurities in your relationship.

5. Forgive And Let Go Of The Past

Let me remind you that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship.

Being in a relationship does not mean everything will always be rosy, it does not mean it is everytime you get to have breakfast in bed.

There are times when your partner will hurt you or do things that will hurt you so much that you may start questioning if they truly love you.

You need to know that they are not perfect. You should not hold on to past hurts or offenses.

How to deal with insecurities in a relationship is by learning to forgive and let go when your partner offends you.

6. Do Not Lie Or Keep Secrets

It has been identified that one of the things that causes insecurity in a relationship is secrets and lies. Partners should be very honest and open to each other in a relationship so that they do not have to struggle with trusting each other.


Sometimes insecurity may require the help of professionals to sustain a relationship. Maybe a lot of emotional damage has been done repeatedly by a partner in a relationship For example, in a relationship where a partner keeps cheating, it is hard to overcome this insecurity.

You may need to consult professionals such as relationship counsellors and therapists to discuss your feelings with them.

This is because,e aside from the fact that insecurity affects relationships, it also affects one’s mental health. If you truly love and care for your partner and you are insecure, you need to follow the things that have been mentioned here and save your relationship now.

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