How-To-Deal-With- Disappointment

Olajumoke Oyaleke

How To Deal With Disappointment in 11 Simple Methods

Self-Esteem, self-help

Disappointment is part of what men encounter in life. For as long as we are humans and we still have blood and water running inside us, the feeling of disappointment is unavoidable because,  as humans, we will always have hopes, dreams, and expectations, and they may not always go right.

The problem is not disappointment itself,  but how we deal with disappointment when it comes our way. Before we look into how to deal with disappointment, let us understand what disappointment is

What is Disappointment?

Collins dictionary says ‘disappointment is the state of feeling sad because something has not happened or because something is not as good as you hoped it would be.’

Also, the Cambridge dictionary defines it as ‘the unhappiness or discouragement that results when your hopes and expectations have not been satisfied, or something that is not as good as you had hoped or expected.

From the definitions that have been provided, we can realize that disappointment does not just come without a cause. There are reasons why we feel disappointed.

This means that people do not just feel disappointed; some things cause them to feel that way, such as high or unrealistic expectations, failed plans or unachieved goals, and even betrayal from trusted friends.

Since we have been able to identify some of the things that make people feel disappointed, it will guide us in knowing how to deal with disappointment.

How To Deal With Disappointment

How-To-Deal-With- Disappointment
HolgersFotografie, Pixabay

1. Reduce your expectations.

Reducing your expectations is one way to deal with disappointment. The reason some people feel disappointed is because they usually expect much from others.

They do not always create room for disappointment. High expectations of others usually bring them great pain and hurt them deeply because they do not have room for disappointment.

The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment, and vice versa. However, if you have reduced expectations of others, it won’t get to you too much when they end up disappointing you. This is how to deal with disappointment

2. Set realistic and achievable goals

People feel disappointment when they fail to achieve their set goals.

The mistake they may be making is that their goals are not achievable and realistic. When you are setting your goals make sure they are not just mere wishes you are writing down.

If you write your wishes and you call it goals that means you are not being true to yourself. Your goals have to be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. These are the key metrics to measure achievable goal

3. Take time to reflect

Another way to deal with disappointment is to take time to reflect when things do not go the way we want.

This is because things may not always go the way we predict or want it to go.

Instead of dwelling too much on the setbacks or failures which may bring more sadness to our hearts.

It is better to reflect, think of what you should have done better, and find out what you are doing wrong that is not making things go the way you want.

Reflecting will help you know how to restrategize and the better approach to take to resolve things. Instead of doing the same thing again and making the same mistake over and over.

This is how to deal with disappointment, Instead of allowing sadness to dwell in your heart, pick the lessons and try again.

4. Practise gratitude

Sometimes, the reason people feel disappointed is because they do not see anything good about themselves or because they feel like they have not achieved enough.

A lot of people pay more attention to things that they do not have and refuse to see the ones they have. People allow themselves to feel disappointed because of one setback in their journey.

They forget the other things that they have accomplished in life and refuse to celebrate their little wins.

We should cultivate the habit of thankfulness for how far we have come in life, this will help set our minds to the positive things rather than the negative feelings or thoughts.

5. Do not compare yourself to others

The reason why some people feel disappointed is because they judge their achievements with that of their mates. A lot of people will look at their friends who are probably doing better than them and conclude that they are a failure. Meanwhile, we never think of other people who also want to be like us.

In a world where there are so many noises on social media, you will see a lot of your mates and even younger people coming out to tell the world about their newly acquired mansion and exotic cars and you may be feeling like you are not doing enough. Stop the comparison already, these people will not tell you the challenges that they are facing.

The moment you understand that life is not a competition and that everyone’s journey in life is different maybe it will help you approach life without putting yourself under unnecessary pressure.

You may also want to take a little break from social media. Comparing yourself to others will sadness to your heart and this will make you feel disappointed.

6. Be patient

There is a saying about the patient dog eating the fattest bone. Nowadays, people especially the younger generations want to do things and get results as soon as possible. The moment they try something once and it does not go their way they are already feeling disappointed and thinking of giving up. You need to understand that good things take time.

How-To-Deal-With- Disappointment
Myriams-Fotos, Pixabay

7. Be around people who can encourage you

The moment you notice you are already feeling frustrated and tired and about to give up. Try to find people who you can talk to and can give you good advice and encouragement.

These words can go a long way to help you calm and boost your spirit. You may want to find a model, someone who you aspire to be like.

8. Understand that failure is part of man’s journey

We indeed feel sad when we fail however, how we handle the rejection and failure is very important. We can not always win, there are times when we will get a no from people from people. If we set our mind that disappointment is part of life we will know when and how to put ourselves and move on when we get rejected.

9. Listen to music

Music can be a form of therapy when you are down because good music speaks to your soul and communicates to your spirit when you are feeling sad. This music can boost your mood and you can also draw inspiration from it. When you listen to music, it helps you feel comforted and reassured.

10. Practice affirmations

Affirmations are ways to practice positive thinking by saying positive words. Saying these positive words will stop you from looking down on yourself and give you strength in your abilities. Our beliefs have a way of influencing how we approach situations in life. Daily affirmations bring about reassurance in yourself and keep away the negative thoughts from the mind.

11. Draw lessons from your failure and readjust.

Another way to deal with disappointment is that we should try to see it as an opportunity for us to learn a lesson and do things better. If we see disappointment as an opportunity to learn how to be better it will help us draw strength from our failure and also re-strategize. See it as an opportunity to learn and try again. Disappointment is not failure, failure only happens when you stop trying.


As humans, we need to know that life is not a bed of roses and we won’t always get everything we want. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. We as humans need to come to terms with this fact.

Rather than allowing ourselves to dwell too much on the negative thoughts for long we should focus on the positive part and draw lessons from our mistakes and failures.

Also, rather than giving up when we experience disappointment, we should find motivation from our failures in life. You should try not to be envious of others or compare yourself with others because comparison steals away one’s happiness. Be happy for others and focus on your journey in life.

The people you surround yourself with are also important, make sure they are not people who constantly talk down on your ability or remind you of your failure.

Surround yourself with people who believe in you, people who can open up and cheer you on when you feel like giving up. Everyone needs supportive friends at their corners.

Seeking the help of professionals can also be something to consider because disappointment can mess with our minds and may lead to feelings of depression. If you are feeling depressed or you are constantly experiencing disappointment you may want to seek help from counselors, therapists or psychologists.

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