Congratulations! Your child is transitioning into a teenager. Well, there’s no denying that this period can be both challenging and thrilling. You won’t need to make every decision for them again or even monitor their activities frequently to ensure they don’t harm themselves.
But hey, you should be concerned that they can jump on your steering wheel in your absence just so they can boast to their peers that they can drive. However, allowing your teenager the freedom to explore, learn, and grow can help them develop a sense of responsibility and self-confidence. Hence, you need to approach this phase with an open mind.
In this article, I have listed 8 things you should stop doing for your teenager. This will also give you a headstart on what these transitions might entail. The fact is, even though your teenager may not appreciate you right now, your decision will undoubtedly benefit them later on.
So without further ado, let’s get started!
1. Doing The Entire House Chores
At this stage, both physically and mentally, your teenager is already capable of doing most things. While you may not leave the entire housework to them, you can divide it among family members and ensure they carry out their part. Chores like laundry, cooking, cleaning the bathroom and rooms, brushing the carpet, etc. are basic life skills you must teach your teenage child.
If you’re still doing all of these house chores for your teenager up until this time, then you’re not helping them. Again, this is a life skill they need to learn. Ensure they learn how to maintain hygiene in the home and their personal lives. You may only be permitted to monitor them from time to time to ensure they keep their bodies, rooms, and bathrooms neat.
Furthermore, don’t do dishes for your teenage child. Dishwashing and clearing the dining table after each meal is an essential skill your teenager should be allowed to learn.
2. Fixing Their Problems
Teenagers should be given a chance to learn to fix their problems or mistakes by themselves. For instance, don’t fill out documents for your teens because there was a critical mistake in the last one. Guide them on how to do it well, not do it yourself.
Your responsibility as a parent is to be available whenever they need a listening ear or encouragement and to offer the necessary guidance they need. If all you do is dive in and fix all the problems and mistakes, they won’t learn. Moreover, chances are that the cycle will repeat itself, and perhaps you will not be around to fix it.
3. Monitoring Their Activities Frequently
Your child is now a teenager, so you would need to give them some space to do things on their own. Whether it’s comfortable for you or not, at this stage of their lives, you need to relax with them a little. Permit them to visit and interact with their friends, go to the mall, park, museum, zoo, etc. without your close watch.
You can even ask them to bring their friends over for lunch. This way, you get to know the kind of friends they keep. There are times your teenage children might give you a reason not to relax with them yet, and that’s understandable. But you can start small and then progress to the degree that they’ve earned your trust.
Most teenagers firmly believe they have the most embarrassing parents in the world
4. Helping Them Talk To Their Teachers
You’re not helping your teen if you’re always going to their school and speaking to their teachers on their behalf. This is one of the 8 things you should stop doing for your teenager. For example, if they were flogged because they didn’t do their homework or they were detained for an offense committed, it’s not your obligation to query the teacher.
Allow their teacher to tackle the issue rather than protect them by helping them talk to their teacher. However, unless you were invited by the teacher.
5. Selecting Their Clothing
Selecting clothing is also one of the 8 things you should stop doing for your teenager. Your teenager is no longer a baby who doesn’t know their left from their right, so what you think is comfortable for you might not be for them. While you might be the one paying for their clothing, permit them to make their choice, provided it’s a good one.
If your teenage girl prefers a gown to a skirt and blouse, allow them to make their choice. Don’t make it mandatory for them or refuse to pay for it. Moreover, there are times their preference might endanger them—crazy pants and revealing dresses. In this case, you must make them understand why they should be decent and cover their nakedness.
Adolescence isn’t just about prom or wearing sparkly dresses
6. Doing Their Assignment
I know you want your teenager to top their class, but doing their assignment is not the best way to achieve that. At this stage of their lives, you can only remind them to do their homework before the next academic day. Also, if they’re confused at some point in the homework, you can put them through; not stepping in and completing it for them.
Your teenage child needs to learn to take responsibility for doing their homework. This will help them defend the work whenever they’re called upon. In addition, it’s also part of preparing themselves for success in the future.
7. Always Giving Them Money Upon Request
Giving your teens money every time they request it is also one of the 8 things you should stop doing for your teenager. If you just give them money whenever they request it or buy anything they point at the store, then you’re forming a bad habit with them. The time will come when they will go to any length—good or bad just to get whatever they want.
Never give your teenage child the space to think that your income is available for disposal at any time. You can educate them to start making money for themselves. Furthermore, teach them how to manage money and don’t always say yes to their requests. Your child may not appreciate all you’re doing now, but it’s for their good.
Good habits formed in youth make all the difference
8. Treating Them Like A Baby
The number 8 thing you should stop doing for your teenager is treating them like babies. Teenagers need you to handle them with maturity and also respect their opinions. Make them feel that you take them seriously.
At this stage, you can now bring them into family discussions to air their minds.
You can talk about improvements in family rules like visiting hours, bedtime, house chore distribution, etc. Even though you don’t have to agree with everything they say, the objective is to demonstrate to them that their opinion is valid and may be considered.
Being a mom of a teenager means a lot of forgiveness, grace, grit, and love that is both powerful and unconditional. But what a blessing it is to raise these teenagers and have a front-row seat on this wild ride
Raising teenagers is a one-time responsibility that should be embraced with happiness. Some parents dread raising teenagers, but the fact is that it’s not as difficult as we portray it.
Now that you have a teenager at home, you might learn to appreciate having someone you can have meaningful conversations with. Also, someone who doesn’t require frequent monitoring.
Although you may still be struggling with giving your teenager some space to explore their teenage years. However, you’ll adapt with time and learn to deal with one another. Always keep in mind that you’re nurturing a successful future adult by enabling a sense of responsibility and self-dignity in them.
You’re doing well!