Joy Ayaya

10 Bases In A Relationship: How To Build A Strong And Healthy Relationship

The foundation of everything matters. When the foundation is right, everything else aligns and falls into place. You can’t just start building a house without first laying a proper foundation fit to bear the structure. The same way, if you want to enjoy a great relationship, you must have strong enough foundations to give you a satisfying relationship with your partner. Ignoring any of these bases can fizzle out the relationship with time.

Many couples have issues in marriage today. Many homes are in disarray, and many relationships fail because they ignore the basics.

What is the basis of a relationship?

In every romantic relationship, there are many obvious things you must do. These help to mark our significant progress and growth in our relationship. These achievements are often referred to as the ‘bases’. They serve as valuable checkpoints on our journey of love and intimacy. Quality relationships stand as a checkmate for our emotional and social lives. Such a relationship provides us with a sense of belonging, emotional bonding, support, and shared experiences, which help our existence.

Sometimes, this path of our emotional journey isn’t always smooth, as it comes with its own challenges in trying to pair with someone. But understanding these bases and the various stages of our intimacy can help us navigate through these complexities, challenges, and differences and then help to deepen the emotional bonds between us and our partners.

The concept of bases in a relationship helps us to understand ourselves and also describes the progression of our emotional, intellectual, and physical intimacy.

Below are the 10 bases in a relationship:

1. Establishing Connections

The first basis for a lasting relationship is establishing a connection. It’s one thing to meet someone you have feelings for, and another is to establish a deep connection with them. Nothing will work between partners if there is no established intimacy and connection. The foundation of every working relationship lies in establishing a connection, having a mutual rapport, and having a sense of unity. In this stage, it’s just all about you both getting to know each other and sharing interests and values, which leads to building trust.

This basis also requires effective communication, as it allows you both to have an open dialogue, an honest expression of feelings, and a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives and mindsets.

Communication is crucial at this stage. This involves active listening, paying attention to every detail, expressing each other’s thoughts and feelings without being judged, and also resolving conflicts amicably.

2. Establishing emotional intimacy and support

The second basis of any working relationship is building emotional support and intimacy. You can’t love someone and won’t be there for them emotionally or to support them. Being there for one another through thick and thin is everything.

It shows how much you care for your partner. The emotional support during challenging times helps relieve emotional, mental, and sometimes even physical stress.

As your connection and bond grow, emotional intimacy emerges too, which can be characterized by a sense of vulnerability, trust, and deep emotional bonding. This stage definitely involves sharing and expressing personal experiences and feelings openly, seeking comfort and support from each other. It brings a sense of trust, security, and belonging, giving your partners a safe landing and peace being with you. Once this emotional support and trust are established, partners can gradually progress to the next level.

At this stage, they are not only willing to share their feelings but also to be a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear during difficult times. This emotional support can also manifest in various ways, such as words of comfort, encouragement to each other after a hectic day at work, offering a listening ear during a tasky project, and also providing a safe space to vent about personal struggles. Emotional support helps to strengthen the bond between couples and creates a nurturing environment for the relationship to thrive.

3. Physical affection

StarFlames, Pixabay

The next consideration in a relationship is establishing physical affection. This comes as emotional intimacy and shared connection grow. Couples here begin to explore the physical side and intimacy of the relationship. Physical affection and intimacy, in many ways, play a crucial role in strengthening the bond between partners.

It can happen in various ways. They engage in physical and affectionate touch, ranging from simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, kissing, romancing, cuddling, sexual intimacy, or hugging to more intimate expressions of love.

This bond serves as a means of expressing their love, deepening their emotional bonds, and stimulating their sense of closeness and connection. Physical touch releases oxytocin, a hormone associated with bonding and attachment, intensifying feelings of closeness and affection.

While many choose this part to explore their physical intimacy early in the relationship, some couples still choose to stay a while until they are comfortable and secure in their relationship before engaging in any sexual activities.

4. Exploration, Discovery and Boundaries

While the relationship progresses, there’s a need for exploration and discovery as another important base of a quality relationship. This journey of a relationship won’t be complete without exploring and discovering more about each other.

This is a stage where both partners deepen their physical connection through experimentation and mutual understanding. This stage involves open and honest communication about choices, preferences, boundaries, and desires, ensuring that both partners feel comfortable and respected.

Exploration and discovery foster a sense of excitement, passion, and shared pleasure. This base doesn’t involve just exploitation and discoveries but also involves communicating our boundaries, which may include physical, emotional, or even digital limits.

Every healthy relationship isn’t just all about emotional adventures; it also requires both partners to respect each other’s boundaries and personal space when needed.

From time to time, couples need to remind each other and discuss their preferences for alone time, social interactions, or even the use of social media within the context of their relationship. Recognizing and respecting each other’s boundaries not only shows respect and trust but also helps maintain a balanced, healthy, and cordial partnership.

5. Sharing Emotional Vulnerability

One of the things that establishes a relationship is the level of openness and transparency, which fosters a sense of safety and acceptance, allowing both individuals to be their real selves and bare it all without fear of judgment or rejection from the other.

A healthy relationship involves confiding in each other about your ugly past, innermost fears, insecurities, emotional wounds, or a deep-seated fear.

There’s no need to be in a relationship where you can’t share your vulnerability. Sharing vulnerability is one of the foundations of a strong relationship. It’s one of the critical steps in building a strong and intimate relationship. talking about those things they have hoarded for years or haven’t had the confidence to voice out. This gives you the opportunity to share in your partner’s emotional world, creating a bond that is both deep, powerful, and lasting.

Emotional vulnerability takes intimacy to a deeper level. This stage mostly requires trust, empathy, and the ability and willingness to be seen and accepted by your partner without judgment. Emotional vulnerability increases the bond between partners, allowing them to connect on a soul-to-soul level.

6. Embracing uniqueness

Another point that forms the basis of a relationship is embracing each other’s uniqueness. More like understanding each other’s uniqueness and allowing space for individuals’ growth, interests, passions, hobbies, and personal development within the relationship. True relationships involve embracing each other’s uniqueness, appreciating individual peculiarities, and celebrating differences.

This stage also involves accepting each other’s weaknesses, flaws, imperfections, and vulnerabilities, rather than seeking to force them to change or mold them into another. Embracing your uniqueness in that relationship helps to promote a sense of security, respect, and acceptance, which allows your partners to be their authentic selves and live their dreams.

7. Establishing shared experiences and memories

For someone you love and care for, you’ll be happy to share your happy moments and experiences with them. You’ll be so excited to share your memories. All these form the basis for a lasting relationship. This experience can range from everyday moments of joy and laughter to significant milestones, achievements, and adventures. These shared experiences and adventures create a book of memories that grows the bond between partners, providing a strong base for future growth and intimacy.

8. Unconditional love

StockSnap, pixaby

Unconditional love is the height of intimacy and bonding. It transcends flaws, weaknesses, and imperfections. It is a love that isn’t conditional. It accepts without judgment, supports without reservation, and endures through challenges.

It provides a safe haven, providing you with a place where each partner feels loved, cared for, and appreciated for who they truly are. It is one of the foundations of a sound relationship. It also involves compromise, finding middle ground, and making concessions for the well-being of the relationship.

9. Shared goals and values

In a healthy relationship, aligning with the shared values, mindset, perspective, fundamental beliefs, goals, and aspirations is very important for a long-term relationship. Such a base provides a guide for the relationship, guiding partners in the same direction.

This stage primarily involves aligning with goals, aspirations, dreams, and fundamental beliefs about life. It promotes a sense of unity, alignment of purpose, and shared goals for the future.

10. Lifelong partnership

This is taking the relationship to the highest level. It shows a full-time commitment to doing life together. This part, as the tenth base of the relationship, happens when both partners have grown so well together and find it comfortable to have a lifelong partnership.

As such a relationship grows, they begin to envision a shared, lifelong future. This is where they start discussing and making plans for the future, such as moving in together, getting married, or starting a family.

This discussion also involves where they would like to live, their choice of career ambitions and goals, how many children to have, and how they plan to navigate the inevitable challenges that life might bring. These interactions can be both exciting, fun, and challenging, as both partners must consider their individual goals and aspirations while also finding common ground to create a shared vision and set of values. This is where commitment is built: dedication to the relationship, investing quality time and efforts to grow, and nurturing it to work through challenges and inevitable difficulties.

This represents the summary of the journey of intimacy: a commitment to love, support, dedication, and growth throughout life’s ups and downs, weathering the challenges together, adapting to new life’s changes, and continuously nurturing the bond that has been forged.


These 10 bases in a relationship form the framework and foundation of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Each base discussed projects a deeper level of understanding, support, boundaries, and love that solidifies a healthy relationship.

It’s also important to understand that relationships are dynamic and evolve with time. The ability to communicate openly, mutual respect, and willingness to adapt, build, and nurture your relationship to grow are the ultimate and will help to deepen your bond that stands the test of time.

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