How to Deal With your Husband Not Wanting You – 14 Workable Tips

11 minutes read

It can be quite frustrating seeing that a man you have been living with for years suddenly develops cold feet towards you. The chemistry you two once had suddenly disappears. The love he once professed gradually depreciates.

Researchers have found that one of the reasons some husbands are not interested in their wives is income. When a man sees his wife earning more than him or is almost dependent on her, he feels threatened and withdrawn.

The signs that your husband does not want you are reduced quality time and a lack of affection. It can also cause communication to decline. Creating communication strength, giving them space, and not blaming each: are ways on how to deal with your husband not wanting you.

Your interest was taken into consideration while writing this article. This is going to be a great guide that will ease your frustration. It will make your husband’s love for you blossom.

Let’s take a look at some signs that you can see in your husband and conclude that he does not need you anymore.

Signs Your Husband does not Want You

Lack of Affection

This is when you suddenly become unattractive to him. There is no longer a physical or emotional connection. He no longer kisses, hugs or says sweet words when he comes back from work. He no longer has sex with you. A clinical psychologist, Carle Marie Manly, Ph.D., adds, “for some, a shift in libido can be a sign that love is waning.”

Secret Action

He suddenly begins to keep late nights. He becomes angry when you touch his phone or he is away from you to answer a call. He doesn’t share his feelings with you. He now confides in others more than you.

He no Longer Supports You

Your visions and goals are a burden or an issue to him. He no longer gives you the support that you need. He withdraws from giving you the monthly allowance he normally gives to support your dreams etc. This can be an indication that he does not want you.

Criticizes And Blames You Over Everything

When your husband, who does not blame you for your children’s misbehavior, begins to blame you, it is an indication he does not need you. He criticizes every single thing you do. He either blames you for his misfortune or any failure, that is a red flag.

Reduces The Time He Spends With You

When he becomes too busy to spend time with you or suddenly develops cold feet towards activities you both enjoyed, it is a sign he is losing interest in you.

He No Longer Shares His feelings With You

When you no longer know how your husband feels at any point in time, it is a sign. He distanced himself and no longer shares his thoughts or ideas, he has no interest in you anymore. If he also becomes emotionally detached or distant, he is trying to let you know that you are no longer needed.

If you have digested the above and it is clear that your husband no longer wants you, I guess your next question will be, “Is there a way out? Of course, there are ways you can deal with your husband not wanting you, whether emotionally, sexually, or physically. Here are the different steps you must take to get him back.

How To Deal With your Husband Not Wanting You

I know that if someone wakes you up and tells you to do something to bring your husband back, you will do anything, no matter how hard it seems. Here are things you can do:

1. Self-assessment

It is alright to feel that your husband does not want you because he doesn’t love you anymore but have you taken time to assess and evaluate yourself to be sure you are not the problem?

This is one of the best ways on how to deal with a husband not wanting you. Do you have time for the family? What are your reactions whenever he gives instructions or has a misunderstanding? Are you sure you are doing everything right? The problem may be with you and not your husband.

 2. Identify the Issue

You can never know how best to tackle an issue if you do not identify the source of the problem. Problem identification is a leap in solving it. If you have done a self-evaluation and notice the problem is not yours, you can also check other options.

It might be that he is having an affair, he has high expectations from the relationship, he no longer gets sexually satisfied or interested in sex or he has unresolved conflicts, pains, and trauma from the past. This and many more might be the issues you need to identify to deal with him and win him back.

3. Create A Good Communication Channel Or Try To Fill A Broken Communication Gap

Communication is vital in any relationship. This is one of the ways on how to deal with your husband not wanting you. Also, try to communicate with him. Find a calm place where you can ask him questions about his feelings, romantically and peacefully. Initiate a conversation to tell him how you feel. Try to keep the conversation flowing by avoiding criticism.

4. Be a Good Listener

You might escalate everything if you continue to speak without giving him time to speak. Listen actively to see and hear his perspective, this is one of the most powerful ways on  how to deal with your husband not wanting you.

This can create an atmosphere of respect and empathy. With the way you listened to your spouse, it can go a long way to bring him back and also make him feel relaxed enough to relate to you what he is going through.

5. Give Him Space

Giving him space does not mean running away from your home or parking your things in the guest room. It is just giving him all the time that he needs, though not for too long.

It might be all he needs to process his thoughts and feelings and know what to do next. Do not pressure him into talking or having any conversation. It does not mean you are not interested in the issue but respecting his needs at the moment.

6. Reawaken The Connection

What are those things you both once loved when you were courting or at the beginning of your marriage? Get involved in the activities that once brought you both joy, sparking positive memories. Try doing them and see if it can draw him back.

7. Step up Your Game


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This might be all you need to bring back your lost husband. Try to solve this by kicking boredom out of your bedroom. He might be bored because he is doing the same thing with you every day.

Try to explore new ways of satisfying him sexually. You can go on a vacation or spend time together in a hotel. You can make him want you sexually (if that is the issue) by wearing sexy clothes, talking about fantasies, likes and dislikes and massaging each other. This is one of the best ways on how to deal with your husband not wanting you.

8. Build Deep Intimacy

Beyond sex, try to also identify his emotional needs and build close intimacy.  Connect with him more deeply to a point where he will feel relaxed and let him know that beyond sex, you care deeply about his emotional needs.

Show him love by appreciating him for any single thing he does, having time for him (let him know that being a career woman does not stop you from appreciating him) buying him gifts and showing him physical affection like running your hands through his cheeks and hair when you are alone with him.

Make sure that you build a deep connection that will make him not feel threatened or disrespected because you earn more than him. A man appreciates when he is loved and respected.

9. Support Him

It might be that you care so much about your career now that you forget to support his dreams and vision. A man loves it when his wife supports what he does. He will not hesitate to cut ties with you when you start drifting away or withdrawing your support from him.

Support him with finances if that is what he needs. He might be dying silently due to a crash in his business. Tell him how much you love him by supporting him.

Let him know that you are not supporting him financially because he is handicapped but because you love him. This does not mean that you will not tell him when he is doing something wrong.

10. Avoid Blaming or Criticizing Him

Men hate when accusing fingers are pointed at them, especially in an obvious manner. They might seem oblivious of other things you are doing but once you blame him for the slightest thing, they will not hesitate to be defensive.

Avoiding criticism or blame is one of the ways on how to deal with your husband not wanting you. Instead of blaming him, try to tell him his wrongs in a peaceful way.

11. Focus on Yourself

As much as you need to solve this problem, it is also essential that you build yourself. Invest time in personal development; attend conferences, read books on relationships, embrace self-care, keep yourself sexy and attractive( wear good and sexy clothes, have a good hairdo, wear good perfume and deodorant, buy a good cream that can keep your skin sparkling), find something to do if you do not have one( you can start by doing what you love or look for a job).

Men hate women who are liabilities. It might be that your husband became withdrawn because you no longer look attractive the way you were before he married you. This is one of the best ways you can get his attention back.

12. Talk To Your Marriage Counselor Or Therapist.

If you feel you cannot seem to get his attention, talking to your marriage counselor or a therapist who can give an unbiased judgment can be the best option.

A clinical psychologist, Carle Marie Manly, Ph.D. said and I quote’’ If you and your partner want to refresh or save your marriage, seeing a skilled therapist is a nice move’’.

A marriage counselor can help detect what is missing and help you fill the gap. This is one of the best ways on  how to deal with a husband not wanting you anymore, as he will not only help you but also give you an unbiased judgment.

13. Apologize and Forgive

It is true that most men have an Ego and may find it difficult to say these 5 letter words (SORRY) but that should not be an excuse not to apologize. A simple apology can be all you need to rekindle the glowing splint in your marriage. Forgive your partner and let go. This is one of the best ways on  how to deal with your husband not wanting you anymore.

14. Be Patient and Pray

Bringing him back might not happen overnight, it takes a lot of persistence, patience, and prayer. Be patient with him and do not give up on the other steps you are taking.  Be more intentional, even if it seems he is not making changes. Pray to God for touch and change. Prayer and patience work wonders.

15. Build Trust

Trust is essential in every relationship. This is one way to deal with his husband not wanting her anymore. A broken trust might not be easy to regain but it is possible.

Try rebuilding the trust he once had in you by doing those things you once did that gained him your trust. It might take time for him to heal from the hurt but he will surely come around once you are persistent.

Final Words

It is never an exciting experience for your man to lose interest in you.  It is heartbreaking and can be destructive. Choose any of these steps, how to deal with the husband not wanting you, is peculiar to your problem and practice. Practicing and doing them will give you an edge in winning him back. I am sure you will smile again and your marriage will revive.

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