Are you finding it difficult to deal with a disrespectful grown child?
Then you are in the right place. Good parenting comes with a lot of responsibilities and expenses.
An average parent has the responsibility of taking care of each child from birth to at least 20–22 years of age, no matter the distance between them.
However, at the child’s adolescent age, you begin to notice some behavioral changes in the child that you shouldn’t let slide, and it is important as a parent to know how to deal with a disrespectful grown child.
It is so painful when you see your grown child being disrespectful, especially towards you as the parent because you gave him or her the best child training.
However, Open communication is key; expressing your emotions and expectations peacefully, setting boundaries and consequences for their actions and behavior, ensuring you both understand each other’s perspectives, and seeking professional help if the situation remains difficult to handle will help in dealing with your disrespectful grown child.
In this article, we’ll be talking about reasons why grown children are disrespectful and how to deal with a disrespectful grown child.
Reasons And Factors Why Grown Children Are Disrespectful
Some physicians made their findings recently and discovered that children born in the 21st century are very disrespectful. Of course, this is also a popular saying.
Have you cared to know the mystery behind such findings, or have you just swallowed them hook, line, and sinker? That’s why when you see your child displaying disrespectful character, you just overlook it and see it as a normal thing.
Several things propel a grown child to be disrespectful.
Disrespect doesn’t spring up in them just in a day; it’s a gradual build-up that, when noticed early, can be trashed. Here are seven reasons why grown children are disrespectful.
1. Their Upbringing
It is no news that the upbringing of a child determines the legacy that such a child will follow. It’s so disgusting to see a little child abusing and throwing objects at his or her parents, and instead of such parents taking the necessary action, they just overlook the child and say “He’s just a child; leave him; when he grows, he will understand”.
That’s not the right way of training a child; you might not necessarily beat a child for such a child to know that he is wrong. There are better ways of punishing a child apart from flogging that child.
It’s obvious that the excuse of many parents is that they only have one child, so they do everything possible to please such a child and make him or her very comfortable, even to the detriment of that child.
2. Family Background
In families where there is always violence and no peace, children from such backgrounds are normally disrespectful. When there is no peace between parents in a family, it affects the psychology of that child.
In some instances, where a husband always beats up his wife and abuses her even in the children’s presence, the children grow up and see such a norm thereby displaying such character around people.
3. Social media
Children are exposed to social media where they see good and bad things. How often are your children exposed to social media? And what content is your child exposed to? There are lots of disrespectful shows on the media that your child is exposed to, thereby emulating the media, which gives answers to the reason why you noticed disrespectful characters in him/her lately.
4. peer groups
The kind of friends your children keep up with matters a lot, evil communication corrupts good manners. Your child is surrounded by disrespectful friends and you expect him not to be disrespectful? Check your child’s friends.
5. Intake of hard drugs
Researchers discovered that 90% of children indulging in hard drugs are normally disrespectful. Hard drugs get to the brain and make them feel less pain which will make them act out of normal.
Stress is one disorder that can divert anyone from his/her right senses. Any child going through stress will tend to put up a disrespectful character because such a child is acting under pressure.
How to Deal With a Disrespectful Grown Child in 9 Perfect Steps
What does it mean when a child is disrespectful? Being disrespectful is not centered only on abuse. A child is disrespectful if he/she talks back aggressively to an elder, walks out on you when having a conversation with such a child, mocks you, lacks courtesy, and lots more. Here is how to deal with a disrespectful grown child:
1. Notice Disrespect And Trash It Immediately
Disrespect is not hidden in a child, it is very obvious. The first step on how to deal with a disrespectful grown child is to notice disrespect and trash it out immediately, you don’t have to wait and watch to see if your grown child will act disrespectfully again.
The moment you notice any sign of disrespect in your grown child such as; talking back at you, walking out on you, arguing/ getting defensive, intentionally skipping house chores and spoiling the house properties, and lots more.
Instantly call that child to order without hesitation, and let your grown child see the wrong in such behavior and the punishment attached to it if repeated.
Also, you have to be strict with your words, do as you have said, don’t just talk without actions. Children are very smart, when they notice you don’t keep to your words, they will continue in that disrespectful behavior and will take your corrections and words for granted.
2. Have The Same Perspective As Your Spouse
There will be conflict and confusion when you and your spouse are on different page, it also makes the child confused about whose instructions to obey, that is where we see situations where a mother beats her child for doing wrong and the child run to meet the father and instead of the father to caution such child for his/her wrong behavior, he begins to question his spouse for beating the child and thereby causing conflict.
However, It becomes easier to deal with your disrespectful grown child when you and your spouse are on the same page and have the same perspective on child training.
Working in unity to punish any disrespectful attitude without being lenient on the child, and having a heart-to-heart conversation with such a child are some ways how to deal with a disrespectful grown child.
It will also make the children realize that none of his/her parents are in support of such a disrespectful character.
3. Be Respectful When Correcting Such Child
A popular saying goes “Respect is reciprocal ” when correcting a disrespectful grown child, correct that child with love and respect, and talk calmly but be serious and intentional.
When you yell at a child when correcting that child it stirs up anger in such a child which will make him/her self-defensive.
This is one simplest way how to deal with a disrespectful grown child: don’t use offensive and insulting words on them, let them see and feel that you love them, and don’t talk down on them.
Talking down on them will give them low self-esteem. And gradually they begin to see it as their duty to respect others.
4. Set Defined And Healthy Boundaries
It is a popular saying that your children should be your best friend. Regardless, there should be defined boundaries, your child should know when you are serious and when you are not.
Children tend to see you as their playmate when you are too loose with them, thereby breeding disrespect within them.
When boundaries are established it will encourage them to share their opinions, feelings, and thoughts with you, trusting that you can give them the best result. Health boundaries breed trust.
5. Try To Understand The Perspective Of Your Child
You cannot understand your grown child’s perspective when there is a bridge of communication between you and your child. Communication is very important in a child’s training. We as parents should not waver from the fact that our children are now grown up and have mixed with the crowd.
They now have opinions for themselves, they can think for themselves, they understand things the way they want, and also have the right to choose.
Effective communication is the key to understanding your grown child’s perspective, tell your child that you have observed some character in him/her and get to know the reason why they act the way they act, be open with your child, allow your child to err his/her views without interrupting, try to view things from their point of view, don’t just judge their weakness. Some grown children act out of frustration unknowingly, it may be that they are going through a challenge that’s why they put up such disrespectful behavior.
6. Change Your Parenting Style
Don’t you think that you have been doing it the wrong way? Parenting is not a day job and you need patience to achieve optimum success.
Your parenting style might be flogging your children, however, there haven’t been any changes yet. Flogging with a cane might not be the best way to correct that child.
Researchers discovered that flogging a child with a cane will only make such a child more stubborn.
As a parent, you must maintain discipline and firmness regarding your child’s behavior and manner of approach. If you notice that a parenting style is not working, change it immediately.
7. Support Their Independence
Most grown children love to be independent, making their money, taking good care of themselves, buying clothes for themselves, and funding their bills.
However, controlling your grown child and making him go your way will only cause him emotional trauma which can in turn make him yell at you or walk out on you.
A common saying for most grown children is “I’m an adult now” “I can fend for myself” and “Stop interfering in my life”. This saying is a way of letting you know that they are grown up and they need space, privacy, and independence.
As a parent, it may also be difficult on your part to let your grown child live his/her kind of life, which will keep you worried and concerned about the well-being and sustainability of your child.
An average parent wants their grown child to be independent, challenging, and focused. One important way how to deal with a disrespectful grown child is by p ambassadors
8. Don’t dwell on the past
Let bygones be bygones, see former things as past, stop reminding your grown child about his/her disrespectful behavior, quit negative utterances, and make amends where you have gone wrong as a parent.
9. Consult a therapist
Consulting a therapist is one of the best ways how to deal with a disrespectful child. You might have tried other means and it is not working. Let them know that you love them and that is why you want them to visit a therapist.
Parenting is a process, you keep learning each day how to train your child, You must read books, apply wisdom when dealing with a grown child, seek advice from experienced personnel and also learn from your mistakes, and lots more.
Give attention to, show kindness and affection, let go of supervision, forgive, and concentrate on building a healthier relationship putting all these in place, you learn how to deal with a disrespectful grown child.