Smash Negativity Team

Disappointed When Someone You Love Hurts You: How to Navigate and Heal Easily

disappointment, Grief, heart break

It’s such an emotional betrayal when one is disappointed by the one they truly love, sacrifice and care for. It’s piercing the soul and hurting. It’s not unnatural to feel disappointed when the one we truly care for breaks our heart. As long as we are humans, it’s normal. It’s a total mix of hurt, emotional confusion, anger, doubt, pain, sorrow, and depression, and sometimes you end up doubting if love truly exists.

Even though love and trust are the foundation of every solid relationship, you should also know that trust and vulnerability often accompany love. This makes it so unbearable and more painful when someone you care so much about causes you hurt. It’s easier to bear disappointment from a stranger than from someone you trust.

The sting of disappointment hurts more when it is from someone we trust. It breaks more when love meets hurt. Within the boundaries of love in its purest form is a concoction of emotions filled with peace, care, trust, loyalty, a warm embrace, the laughter that echoes through shared moments, and sweet memories. But even in this moment of joy, a darker thread may find its way in, causing disappointment and betrayal. It’s not the sound of the gun that hurts, but the person behind the trigger.

When someone you love hurts you, the pain can be very excruciating, leaving you battling to live. Leaving you watching your entire world crumble. Grappling with a cocktail of anger, sadness, depression, and disillusionment.

How Does It Feel To Be Disappointed When Someone You Love Hurts You?

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No one prays to experience such disappointment, but when it happens, it’s ideal to accept the pain, process the feelings, giving you the gateway to giving yourself the time to heal, and communicate your emotions to find help and closure.

Experiencing hurt from someone you deeply love can be a profoundly emotional and distressing period. Many never recovered. Many still live with the scars today. While many have changed their course of believing in love again. The impact of this pain reverberates through one’s emotional landscape, leaving behind a complex season of feelings, anger, shattered expectations, sorrows, pains, and a sense of betrayal that can be challenging to pull through.

When a loved one causes hurt, it’s a big blow to what you both have believed in and memories shared together. At that moment, something shifts in you, affecting the foundation of trust and security. This disappointment is multifaceted, delving into the core of emotional vulnerability. The depth of the pain often correlates with the significance of the relationship, making it even more heart-wrenching, especially when you’ve sacrificed much to build that relationship.

What Are the Effects of Disappointment When Someone You Love Hurts You?

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1. It Stings

It’s worthy to note that the act of betrayal stings deeply. For everyone you give your heart to in a relationship, it’s expected of them to love you back and be a source of support, hope, understanding, trust, and compassion. Imagine such a person now being the source of your pain and inflicting pain on you. It feels like a breach of the fundamental trust upon which the relationship was built. This disappointment can leave you questioning your trust, judgment, transparency and understanding of the person, leading to doubt about the person’s love and emotional bond that you both once felt.

2. Heartbreak

Secondly, feeling disappointed when someone you love hurts you comes with a lot of baggage and shattered expectations. Imagine all your expectations crashing in a moment. It’s a natural feeling to expect those we love to reciprocate our love, care, respect, and empathy. When they fall short and  hurt us instead, it confronts us with the stark reality that the person we held in high regard isn’t dependable. It’s a crash of the idealized version of them with the imperfect reality, leaving behind a sense of disappointment.

3. Unimaginable Sadness

The emotional toll of being hurt by someone you love manifests in various ways. There’s a profound sadness that accompanies the disappointment. Is it mourning the loss of the relationship you thought you once had or the loss of the trust, emotional safety net, and emotional sanctuary that that relationship once provided?

Definitely, when it happens, you feel your breath would cease. You move from feelings of confusion, anger, disbelief and pain. Most times, processing the actions, words or incidents that led to the disappointment causes you more hurt, which can lead to a state of internal turmoil and depression.

Your mind grapples with reconciling the image of the person who once loved you with that same person being the reason for your hurt. You’re finally left behind with a fog of confusion, hate, and self-doubt.

4. Self-guilt

Moreso, hurt inflicted by a loved one often causes a wave of self-reflection.  You might be forced to question if you are the reason for the disappointment. If you also contributed to the situation by fostering guilt or self-blame,. This experience can be a double-edged sword, either offering a chance for personal growth or self-pity. This can also intensify one’s emotional burden.

The results of being hurt by someone you love can result in a cocktail of emotions, including anger, depression and resentment. These emotions are born from pain and hurt, and most times you also transfer the hurt to others. You do this to act as a shield to protect yourself from further hurt. Truthfully, these actions can also hinder the healing process if left unchecked, leading to a longer state of emotional distress and pain.

5. Vulnerability

It’s one thing to be hurt and another thing to find ways to heal. Hurt and disappointment are part of life’s challenges. It all depends on how we manage it. Behind every disappointment, lie layers of pain and brokenness. The effect of disappointment goes beyond mere hurt feelings. It’s a betrayal of trust, a shattering of the expectations we build upon love’s foundation.

Each of us expects those we love to understand, to support, and to be an abode of warmth, trust and acceptance. When their actions contradict what we expect, it leaves us feeling vulnerable, broken, confused, and questioning the very nature of the bond we once shared. For every disappointment, we must find ways to heal and move on.

Below Are The Stages Of Grief And How One Navigates The Emotional Rollercoaster

Disappointment does not hit you all at once. It’s a journey—an emotional rollercoaster that unfolds in stages

1. Denial

The initial reaction here is frequently a refusal to believe what happened. We rationalize, justify, and seek reasons, passionately holding to the picture we thought we knew. This stage is a hard one, as everything still seems like you’re daydreaming.

2. Anger

The next stage of grief to navigate our disappointment when someone you love hurts you is anger. Anger erupts like a volcano as reality sets in. We lash out, question, and accuse, unable to accept the injustice of being wronged by someone we trusted.

3. Sadness

As the anger subsides, the rage fades, leaving a barren landscape of despair in its wake. We lament the broken trust, the shattered expectations, and the romanticism we had for the partnership.

4. Acceptance

In this stage of navigating this journey of disappointment, you begin to accept your fate and reality. The sharp edges of anguish soften over time. We begin to accept what occurred, not condone it, but recognize it as part of the story we share with these individuals who hurt us.

When The Hurt Comes, How Does One Heal From The Disappointment, Picking Up The Pieces and Moving Forward?

Healing from the disappointment of being betrayed by a loved one is a difficult journey, a personal Odyssey with no one-size-fits-all map. It frequently entails acknowledging and processing the pain, establishing boundaries to protect yourself, and, on occasion, engaging in open and honest discussions to seek resolution or closure.

Below are some certain tools or ways that can help one easily navigate this path and heal easily:

1. Communication

To easily heal from a disappointment by a loved one, you’ve got to be open to communication. Have open communication where you can fully express your hurt, anger, and disappointment. It’s not healthy to bottle up emotions, as untreated anger and unexpressed emotions can lead to depression. While open communication can help resolve conflicts and open the door to understanding, bottled-up feelings can fester.

2. Setting Boundaries

One of the ways to heal faster and navigate this path of healing smoothly is to set boundaries. It’s wise to define what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship. It’s important to establish boundaries to protect your sanity and emotional well-being.

3. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the key to unburdening. It doesn’t mean condoning the action, but freeing yourself from the weight of grudges. It frees you from the past and makes room for healing so that you can move on.

4. Self-Care

It’s very important to consider yourself first. It’s ideal to prioritize your emotional and physical well-being. You need to be able to pull through in life, and you can achieve this by giving yourself self-care. Engage in things you enjoy, spend time encouraging others, and cultivate self-compassion.

5. Seek Help

Getting help from loved ones, friends, or a therapist can also help you get through this difficult emotional journey. It’s important to allow yourself the time and room to heal so that you can deal with the feelings at your own pace.

The dynamics of one’s life are altered by disappointment, which forces one to reassess boundaries, expectations, and the intricate web of emotions that binds people together.

With time and self-care, one can emerge from the depths of sadness and disappointment stronger and wiser, even though the wounds might not heal completely.


Just note that disappointment is a common feeling, so you are not alone. Seeking professional assistance or confiding in close friends can offer much-needed support and direction. See the bright side and a better future from the ashes. Even though it is painful, disappointment can usher in development. It pushes us to reassess our goals, set firmer boundaries, and eventually develop more genuine relationships with both people and ourselves.

Even in the face of hurt, we can rise from the ashes of disappointment with a stronger capacity for love, a better understanding of our needs, and a renewed sense of self-worth.

Therefore, keep this in mind: when disappointment from someone you love happens in your relationship, it’s acceptable to feel hurt, angry, sad, broken or disillusioned, but please don’t be there forever, nor let it break you irrevocably. Accept it, but don’t dwell there forever. Like a phoenix from the ashes, you’ll rise again.





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