Confused About A Guy? 10 Ways To Go About It

7 minutes read

Every girl wants to feel secure in a relationship; however, it becomes a tough nut to crack when you meet a guy, like him enough; he ticks all your boxes, but then you don’t know where you stand in his life or where he stands in yours. That’s simply how one is confused about a guy.

Being confused about a guy comes with a lot of awkwardness, feelings of disorientation, and pent-up frustration. It’s a common phenomenon that comes with a lot of relationships, usually starting out before getting to a stage where everyone knows what they want.

So whether you think you guys are not on the same page and you’re trying to figure out where you stand or you think he’s being closed off about his feelings, you need to know which is which. This article is for you.

Sometimes, we are not so sure about our feelings. It may be there, or it’s just playing a trick on you; therefore, being confused about a guy shouldn’t rack you up too much.

In this article, we talk about what you can do when you’re confused about a guy. If you’re already in a relationship or aspiring to be in one, each tip is useful and relatable to whatever situation you’re in.

Confused About A Guy? 10 things you can do about it

1. Process your thoughts and feelings


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When you’re confused about a guy, it’s best to process your thoughts and feelings about it. Processing your feelings about him would bring about a deep personal introspection of what you really want and if he is able to meet you halfway. Give yourself enough time and ask yourself questions; you can even write them down. How do I feel about this guy? Why do I even like him? Why am I feeling confused?

Remember to not hold back; tell yourself the truth, even if it might hurt you. This will help you let go of your fears and deal with the anxiety that comes with worrying. Soon you’ll find yourself. I’m in a clearer place.

2. Pay attention to his lifestyle

We all know that a person’s lifestyle says a lot about them. You can like a guy but dislike his lifestyle. In such a case, his lifestyle is like a deal-breaker, hence your confusion. You might be wondering if he’s willing to change because you can’t be with someone who acts the way he does.

What can you do? Pay attention to his lifestyle; check what aligns with your values and what does not. What part of his lifestyle can you cope with?

Use all these to make a decision. Remember, don’t think you can change a guy after being in a relationship with him; it usually does not end well.

3. Understand yourself and your thoughts about love and relationships

Your thoughts about love and relationships can make you confused about a guy. If you have a certain belief about love and the guys you meet show the opposite of what you believe, you may think he’s not genuine.

For instance, a girl may think that love is buying flowers and showering her with gifts, whereas a guy shows his love by spending much time with her and taking her out on fun dates as opposed to buying gifts. She may be confused about his love.

4. Spend more time with him


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If you’re confused about a guy, spend time with him. Please note that you shouldn’t do this in all situations because it may not be safe. Sometimes it’s best to keep your distance.

However, if it’s safe enough, spend time with him. That way, you can notice his lifestyle, know his likes and dislikes, and know his values and beliefs instead of guessing and getting it wrong. Getting close to him can clear your doubts about him, and then you can make a decision about whether to get closer or keep your distance.

5. Take it slow and give it time

If you like a guy but you’re confused about him, then it’s best to take it slow. You don’t need to hurry because you may end up falling for the wrong guy. Take steps that can lead to figuring out as much as you can about him and about yourself; it takes two for a relationship to work.

6. Put your wellness as a priority

Your confusion about a guy may affect your wellbeing. When a guy you like is blowing hot and cold, you don’t know what to expect; you are always anxious, stressed out, and fearful. Why is he acting this way? What will he do next? This constantly keeps you on your toes.

Take a deep breath and slow down. If you’re already in a relationship with this guy, it’s best you take a break and process your thoughts. If you’re not in a relationship, retrace your steps; it’s better to make your wellness a priority.

7. Ask how he feels, and tell him how you feel

A lot of guys want only a sexual relationship with girls—nothing too deep, just a casual hookup—but the girl falls for him and desires something deeper.

In this case, you have to have a conversation with him, ask how he feels about you, and tell him how you feel about him. If he wants nothing but a casual hookup, then it’s best to walk away since you both are no longer on the same page. Don’t wait for him to change his mind; your feelings may get hurt in the process.

8. Ask him out

Guys are scared of rejection; that’s why they may like a girl but are afraid to ask her out, especially if she’s above their league. You have noticed the signs that he likes you, but you’re confused as to why he’s not asked you out yet.

If you’re so sure, meet him halfway and ask him out. A lot of relationships have taken off because the girl was bold enough to ask him out.

9. Talk to his friends

Talking to his friends can help clear your doubts. Though not everyone gets lucky on this because his friends may not want to give out any information about him except they like you,.

Still, his friends’ lifestyle provides an insight into his own; the way they treat their girlfriends, friends, and others around them can clear up your confusion about a guy.

10. Avoid him if he’s already in a relationship

You may be confused about a guy when you’re not sure if he’s in a relationship. You might’ve seen him with a girl, but you’ve asked around, and they’re not dating. You’re planning to shoot your shot.

If he’s already in a relationship, it’s best to avoid him to avoid getting yourself hurt in the process. It’s common sense.


It’s normal to be confused about a guy; therefore, it’s best to take your time. There are different ways to go about this, but addressing your confusion is one of the best. It helps you put priorities in place and go for what you really want.

When you notice your confusion isn’t being resolved, walk away. Don’t let anyone breeze in and out of your life because it fuels mental instability and would certainly affect your personal growth.


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