We may all have encountered fair weather friends at one point in our lives, right? They can also be our immediate families and relatives. It is very easy to get mad at them or choose the path of closing your doors because they can be so tough to navigate. The saying “Beware of fair weather friends” is very essential when making a choice of friends.
Fair weather friends are people who show up when things are going well and convenient for you, then bail out at the sign of trouble. Some people might have given it thought on how to beware of fair weather friends. Possibly, they might be stuck, feeling hurt and unsatisfied, constantly looking for ways to make the relationship feel better for themselves.
Having a fair weather friendship can be frustrating, but if you do what’s best for yourself, you’ll have an easier time moving on. In this article, we’ll consider some strategies on how to beware of fair weather friends.
How To Identify A Fair Weather Friend
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1. Ask Yourself Whether Or Not They Stick Around During Tough TImes.
They may be there to join you for fun activities, like dancing or drinks, but are never available when you need support. Perhaps you lost your job, went through a breakup, or struggled with mental health, and this friend was nowhere to be found. These types of friends usually make you feel abandoned.
Does it feel like the support you provided this pal when he or she was in a similar situation was never really reciprocated? If so, you may be dealing with a fair weather friend.
2. Consider If They Put Much Energy As You Do Into The Friendship
Possibly they’re glad to hang out when you offer to come to them. But when it’s the other way around, their interest seems to disappear. They are so excited to hang out when it’s their choice of activity, but not when it’s your own ideas.
Think about the time, energy, and effort this friend puts into your relationship. Do they really prioritize you like you prioritize them? If they don’t seem to care much about you, this could be a fair weather friend.
3. Decide Whether Or Not They’re Looking For A Genuine Connection
This doesn’t mean they’re always in your friendship for the wrong motives, because sometimes a fair weather friend can just be a bit flighty and looking for fun. But most fair weather friends have insincere motives: they are either after your money, your popularity or your other connections.
If you’re having the feeling that this friend of yours cares more about what you can offer them than your companionship, this could be a fair weather friend.
How To Manage A Relationship With A Fair Weather Friend.
1. Determine Whether This Friendship Is Worth The Emotional Toll It Takes.
You’re the only person who can determine if this relationship can work for you. There are several kinds of friendship, and you can evaluate each of them: close pals, casual friends, or simple acquaintances. Try to understand what will make you happy in the long term by asking yourself some thoughtful questions:
Am I comfortable with a casual relationship, knowing that they’re a fair weather friend?
If not, do I think there’s any possibility that they’ll change their behaviors if I talk to them about it?
If they can’t change their behaviors, are the good moments with this friend worth the occasional hurt feelings?
2. Set Boundaries And Limits If This Person Is A Relative.
Most of the time, it may be easier to deal with an unbalanced relationship with a family than to end it entirely. That’s okay! It’s necessary to set boundaries in any relationship, and that can enable you to safeguard your needs going forward.
Endeavor to appreciate the positive parts of the relationship. Make sure you do not allow this fair weather relative to drain you. It’s amazing to always help people you love, but you’ve got to take care of yourself first. Remember, you don’t have to feel guilty if you decide you can’t sustain contact with a relative. You deserve respect in your relationships, even with family.
3. Enjoy A Casual Friendship By Modifying Your Expectations.
Possibly, you just decide that this won’t be a person you reach out to in hard times. This does not mean you can’t have fun with them in the meantime. If they really make you laugh or are the best dance mate you’ve ever had, feel free to retain them in your life.
Just be sure that this new format really adds to your life, instead of causing undue stress. It can be difficult to shake expectations for others. Ensure you’re not giving more to the friendship than you’re receiving. Safeguard your own energy and emotional reserves. Try your best not to drop everything to sustain a relationship that has drained you in the past.
Ending A Fair Weather Friendship
1. End The Friendship If You’re Not Getting What You Need.
This might not be easy but take some time to reflect on the relationship. If it does not have the potential to add something to your life or otherwise, change. You may also discover that as much as you may appreciate your fair weather friend, the emotional toll just isn’t worth the good times in between.
Sometimes, obtaining validation from people around you can help a conclusion like this feel more digestible. Talk to a close confidante or family member who can be of help. If you’re not still not sure about how you feel yet, endeavor to spend 5 minutes on a quick journaling session. This can assist you in untangling any big or conflicting feelings.
2. Understand That Ending A Friendship Is Completely Normal.
You may feel remorseful or guilty about your decision. But it’s important to understand that people walk away from all kinds of relationships, all the time. If a relationship is sapping one or both individuals who are involved, then it’s not healthy to go on with it.
3. Avoid Making Plans To Gradually Let The Relationship Taper Off.
Most persons don’t like confrontation. Moreover, a fair weather friend is unlikely to put in much effort to keep seeing you, so with this, they can be easily pulled off. If you’re willing to let this friend go, simply stop making plans.
If they decide to make plans with you, you can be straightforward. Or, you can accept the invitation, but not creating unique ones. Because things with a fair weather friend will likely peter out.
4. Explain Your Thoughts On The Friendship To End It Directly.
If you feel satisfied, you can justify your reasons why the friendship isn’t working for you. With this, you get to know that you were honest with them even when it was hard. Focus on being honest, but reasonable. If possible avoid name-calling, blame, and give them the benefit of the doubt when you can. This way, you get to quit things on a kind note. If you sincerely do, you could even wish them well.
5. Send A Letter If You Fear Confrontation But Still Want To Be Truthful.
A letter or email can be an ideal solution here. In order to give your friend the benefit of the doubt and quit things on a positive note, use kind and empathetic language. You can definitely wish them well in your writeup if that’s how you feel, too. For example;
“At this point, it feels like I’m always putting in more effort than you than you do, and this doesn’t look reasonable.”
“I love hanging out with you, and this is why it took me so long to take this step to cut off a friendship that isn’t giving me what I need.”
“I sincerely still wish you the very best. This relationship isn’t just working for me. I’d be delighted to answer questions if you have any.”
6. Remove Your Fair Weather Friend On Social Media.
If you want a neat break, you might not want to see their posts anymore on social media. Sometimes, when an individual isn’t in your life anymore, you may miss them, feel confused, or even still feel angry, even if you don’t want to. Having continuous, unsolicited reminders about them might be the last thing you want. In that case, be free to take them off of your feeds.
You may feel like unfollowing, blocking, or even deleting this fair weather friend might be too much. Well, most social media sites give you ways to block someone’s content without them knowing, like the Instagram’s “mute” feature.
Final Words
Being beware of fair weather friends is a vital saying because having a fair weather friendship can be frustrating. A true friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope. When you’ve discovered a fair weather friend, you have a choice. If you choose to close your doors or you choose to distance yourself, it is totally up to you. At the end of it all, you get to decide on what makes you happy and how you want to be treated.
