A wise man once said, “Your heart is a place to find true happiness.” One’s present state of mind is the result of choices made; happiness or sadness is the result of our reactions towards reality. How we see things, our experiences, opinions, and people’s attitudes towards us really define who we truly are.
Most people actually love to be happy but don’t know how to get it, or maybe they know how but aren’t working on it. Happiness is free for those who are open to it. It makes one feel a deep sense of belonging. It is not like happy people don’t struggle; it’s just that they have made being happy a priority, ignoring all the negativities that may surround them.
It is good to understand that our mind is a processing machine; it processes what we give it.
However, many people have been so sad-ridden that it seems that being sad is the only thing nature cannot take away from them. They are pessimistic in making judgments and decisions; they see nothing good about the situation around them. There are many factors leading to this state of mind, for no one is born sad, nor were they meant to be sad.
Let us look at these factors and see what unhappy People do, and maybe we can change the narrative of how they view themselves, the situation around them, their mentality, and the people surrounding them.
19 Things Unhappy People Do
1. Seeking the validation of others
This is one of the 19 things unhappy people do to chase their happiness away. It not only brings uneasiness and sadness but also gives people the key to their freedom to make decisions. Freeing yourself from minding onlookers will go a long way toward making one live a fulfilled and meaningful life.
Unhappy people, like many other people, are likely to suffer the consequences of making themselves vulnerable to the positions and opinions of others. They become worthless and sad when the opinion goes contrary to their expectations. Unhappy People mostly engage in this act to feel better about themselves and the decisions they make. They are not confident in their decisions.
Never let haters ‘still’ your flow. They can only do that with your permission”, T. F. Hodge.
2. They complain a lot
This is mostly a result of having limitless negative thoughts. It also happens when they become aware of a noticeable gap between expectations and reality. When faced with difficulties, instead of looking for ways to solve the problems, they express their grievances or dissatisfaction with the situation.
In other words, they get easily frustrated when things are not going their way.
Randy Pausch once said, “Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier.”
Unhappiness is associated with pessimism—both go hand in hand. These people react negatively to the situation around them. There is this saying: “You walk through life much easier with a smile on your face.” Unhappy people don’t think there is anything to smile about—they are sadists. They are not optimistic about what the future holds for them, which is why they make little or no progress in their ambitions.
“What people forget is that a journey to nowhere starts with a single step, too,” says Chuck Palahnuik. Always find reasons to be happy. Happiness makes tough times seem less significant.
4. The past hunts them
One of the 19 things unhappy people do is dwell on their past. In fact, the only thing they see are the mistakes of the past, which would leave them with regrets. Whenever they want to make any important decision, they are easily disturbed and distracted by those decisions that were not successful.
They fail to learn the lessons of the past and move on. Instead, they punish themselves with regrets, which beget more regrets. Happy people believe that “Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.”
5. They seek perfection
There’s no way one could walk without their heads shaking or moving. Failing to realize this fact has rendered many useless to themselves and their environment. Unhappy People don’t know that humans are a work in progress; we can never attain perfection because it is a goal that can never be attained.
As we go through life, there are challenges we have to face—sometimes alone—but the ability to overcome them makes the journey more fun. Look at how this world is made: there is no way we can talk about light without darkness. In fact, we know the value of light by observing darkness.
6. They are addicted to superstitions
They always believe that they don’t have any control over their predicaments. If asked, they will tell you how some supernatural forces are up against them or how the situation is predestined. They always have reasons to be unhappy. The majority allow their emotions to get the better of them while they wallow in ignorance, fear, and anxiety. It seems they are happy when they see people in the same situation; it gives them the idea that a lot of people are also battling with unhappiness.
These people are always battling with all the “Ifs” of this world. Encourage them to make positive decisions; they will respond with many “what ifs.” They don’t have goals; they are complacent about their state. They feel reluctant to make any positive decision to move towards actualizing a goal. They were trapped in their comfort zone. Turning away from such groups of people is a rich decision that should be made. They don’t take risks; they’re overwhelmed with having made little progress.
“It’s not our talents that make us safe or dangerous; it’s our choices”, said Josephine Angelini. Make the choice to be happy by surrounding yourself with goal-driven people.
8. Not adventurous
One of the 19 things unhappy people do is not be adventurous. They don’t try new things; they complain and complain but won’t take decisions that will bring about changes. This makes it difficult for people to work with them. Their visions are far from reality. Striving to be better than yesterday doesn’t look workable to them. Happy people are open to adopting new developments; they are more concerned with trends.
Being adventurous sets one free from overthinking and resuscitates happiness.
Like Jon Miksis said, “The only way to escape the ordinary is to explore the extraordinary.” Don’t be complacent with the situations around you.
9. Low Self-esteem
The lack of a sense of personal values and self-worth places one’s growth in a coma. Without self-esteem, the ability to advance and attain happiness is limited. A lot of factors contribute to the inability to appreciate oneself, which includes a lack of confidence, having little or no sense of belonging, and losing one’s sense of purpose. These are the attributes of unhappy people.
Having low self-esteem is one way to be forever sad. It not only affects how one sees himself but also your perception of how others feel about you.
This is one element about unhappy People that can never be separated from them. Being carried away by emotions not only deters one’s own growth but also that of others. The particular reason for the circumstances is that emotions can be dangerous.
Unhappy People feed their lives with self-pity and also get too emotional—their emotions get the better of them. This can be seen in their facial expressions, posture, and attitude. They also feel like bearing other people’s burdens rather than looking out for themselves.
One of the 19 things unhappy people do is isolate! They find it very difficult to associate with the people around them. This is mostly as a result of their past experiences with certain incidents, things, and people. Individuals who separate themselves from norms, values, and people end up being depressed as things that should give them joy are cut off. It is a key element that drives solitude and the inability to visualize a happy future.
12. They are selfish and not ready to learn humility
One thing about unhappy people is that they are self-opinionated and never humble enough to learn. Their opinion is the best. Some people describe them as arrogant and thoughtless. They always forget the fact that a little drop of water doesn’t make an ocean.
Humility is sometimes far away for them. They seize the opportunity to realize the beauty of listening and learning with humility. Their pomposity often provokes unhappiness.
13. They give up easily
One of the 19 things unhappy people do is accept whatever comes to them with faith. In order for one to be happy, he or she needs to strive and withstand challenging moments with the notion that they’re temporary. Some people believe that what is meant for them will truly come without much effort.
Tests are what accompany great things: gold, crude oil, and many others have to go through many processes in order to be of value, and that’s what makes them different. The act of giving up is one thing that makes one hopeless and stagnant. Unhappy People are often shaken by the test of things.
14. Holding grudges and resentment
Harboring anger, resentment, bitterness, and other negative attitudes are all responses to things that have happened in the past. It is the approach a lot of people use to make their feelings about certain incidents or dispositions known.
Unhappy people fail or struggle to let go of the ills or harm done to them. They keep ruminating on issues that have already happened. Clinging to anger hurts and affects one psychologically, socially, and physically. There’s nothing good about prolonged anger and resentment.
15. Feeling envy and jealousy
This is a poignant trait in our world today. If you are envious of someone who is trying to hedge on life, you are gradually giving a chance to sadness, which also kills aspirations. We live in a world where the majority of the people around us don’t want us to grow or be better.
They always have problems with one’s advancement but are always happy to see one struggle to make it through. In fact, they are never happy to see the people around them succeed. It is important to be careful about how one relates to people and who to confide in. It is always good to pay close attention to those who do not clap when you win.
16. Always playing the victim
Instead of owning up to their mistakes, they blame others. And this sets up frustrations in their lives. Maybe as a result of their inability to get their dream job or battling with financial difficulties, they become sad and start channeling their energy on the negativities around them—blaming others for the decisions they made. They always have the feeling that they are the only ones struggling. Owning up to one’s responsibilities, mistakes, and actions speaks a lot about the person’s personality.
17. They Overreact To Minor problems
Although the rate at which we react to things differs, overreacting to tantrums is one sign of unhappiness. People have countless reasons to react. Some people fear being exploited, and what seem like threats to them, others react in relation to their experiences.
Unhappy People often overreact to little things, mostly due to personal battles they are facing. They most often ignore the real problem because they are preoccupied with minor problems.
18. They engage in unhealthy relationships
One of the 19 things unhappy people do is have unhealthy associations with or congregate with fellow sadists—people who share the same ideology as them. It is very difficult to find them in the midst of lively people, and when they do, they are easily irritated and agitated because they feel the gathering is not for them.
19. They don’t show gratitude
Ingratitude is one element that can never be separated from unhappy people. No matter how one tries to please them, they will never appreciate it. The particular reason for the circumstance is that their sense of appreciation is shattered and lost. Things done by them don’t give them any form of satisfaction to show gratitude.
Giving gratitude to your benefactors gives them the notion that you are worthy of receiving. Always appreciate the least amount of kindness you receive, for that is a way to attain greatness, which brings happiness, too.
To sum up everything that has been stated so far, seeking the validation of others, always complaining, always seeing negativity in every situation, isolation from the rest of society, association with their fellow sadists, seeking perfection, overreacting to minor problems while ignoring the real ones, never showing any form of appreciation for the good done to them, feeling envy and jealousy, holding grudges and resentment, and many more—the list is endless—are the things that distinguish unhappy People from the rest of society. Truly, unhappiness is contagious and energy-consuming. It is advised to surround yourself with people with positive mindsets.