What does it mean to be broken? Let’s start from there. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines broken as “shattered into pieces, subdued completely.” Now, when we relate it to a person, saying someone is broken means the person has been subdued and shattered into pieces.
Thus, a broken man is a man who has undergone deep, huge emotional pain as a result of trauma or abuse. This hurt, trauma, and abuse have damaged him and made his life difficult to relate to. Just like when a glass cup that falls to the ground shatters into tiny pieces, so his life in different facets is also shattered into tiny pieces, and his person is subdued.
How do you know a man is broken? The signs of a broken man are not that easy to identify, as men don’t like to show their emotions or true feelings; however, if you are attentive to patterns and behaviors, you will be able to figure them out. This article explores the different signs of a broken man and is recommended to every man out there and the women who love them.
The following are the signs of a broken man:.
Sign 1: He Has Low Self-Esteem
Self-esteem refers to a person’s confidence in himself and his worth. A broken man will have low self-esteem. He has no confidence in himself and rather relies on people’s approval or rejection to know what to do in his affairs. He becomes unsure of himself and cannot take a firm decision he trusts. He loses trust in his ability to lead and may take a back seat in his career or job.
He speaks about himself in a depreciating way and uses insulting words about himself. When you notice this sign, you should suspect that he has been hurt deeply and that his self-esteem has suffered a blow. He is a broken man.
Sign 2: He is very sensitive about his Past
A sign of a broken man is found in his sensitivity to things from his past, no matter how little they are, even though you were also a part of it. If you dare to raise an issue or tell a story from his past, he can become offensive, defensive, or shut you down immediately.
He doesn’t want to hear anything, see anything, or do anything that will link him to the past, dredging up painful memories, and he also does not appreciate anyone bringing it up. He might not show you his family album or allow you into his library or any other room in his house; he might not permit certain topics or names to be mentioned around him all because they hold a tie to the hurtful past events he had.
Sign 3: He Is Obsessed With Success
This is a sign of a broken man that doesn’t look like a sign. I mean, who doesn’t love success or a success story? There are some men that you think have no life in them because they are focused on one thing alone, and that thing is success.
When a man ruthlessly pursues success, not caring who he hurts along the way, with everything he has and at all costs, it might be a sign of a broken man.
Success is like a drug for him that keeps on going. He feels good knowing he is not completely good for nothing, and so he runs for success even with his dying breath.
Such men have no homes to return to, sleep, wake, dream, eat, or breathe success, and are priming up for one award or another.
Sign 4: He Has No Room for Emotional Attachments
A broken man has no time for emotional attachments. Chances are he buried his emotions with the hurt he felt and won’t be resurrecting it on your account. It is almost as though he is incapable of love, hate, jealousy, or any other emotion.
He is usually described as “heartless” and “cold.” Most times, if you make a careful investigation, you will discover these traits are a result of the trauma and pain he experienced sometime in his life. If you’re in a relationship with this man, it would almost be like you’re dating yourself because there is no reciprocation from him. If he were your boss, he would have no respect for your feelings and expect you to be as cold as he is.
Sign 5: He Is Abusive
There’s this saying that “hurt people hurt people.” I have found it to be true. When people have been hurt in their lives, they find themselves unconsciously or consciously hurting other people.
Thus, a broken man might be abusive towards his family. He might beat them, lock them up, restrict their movements and feeding, abuse them, starve them of love and care, and do a lot that will hurt them too.
Because he is feeling pain inside, he wants other people to feel what he is feeling, or he derives satisfaction from hurting them too. Whatever the case, when a man is abusive, it is a sign of a broken man.
Sign 6: He Coasts Through Life With No Focus
When a man is broken, he doesn’t see beyond where he is at that time. He has no hopes for the present or the future. It’s like the light inside him dies.
He can just go on living on autopilot, not caring about what is happening to him or around him. He might not care about his looks, his feeding, his business, or his family. He might even be hoping for death to come, and if it doesn’t come, he resigns to fate.
He becomes unmotivated, abandons the plans he has, packs up, and goes somewhere to live in obscurity.
Sign 7: He Is Involved in Social Vices
When a man is broken, he will resort to all sorts of social vices to try to fill up the void within him. He might engage in petty crimes such as stealing, drinking to stupor, gambling, excessive acts of charity, pornography, and substance abuse. This sign is linked to the previous one because, when a man has lost his focus in life, he will resort to nonsensities to fill up the missing links.
It is also a coping mechanism to deal with the hurt and heartbreak he is feeling inside of him.
Sign 8: He Has Terrible Mood Swings
Mood swings are usually attributed to women, and many people might not bat an eyelid if a woman is having them, but when a man has mood swings, it is something to pay attention to.
Mood swings are a result of emotional distress, when the mind and body cannot quickly work out a problem.
When a man is feeling so happy, exultant, and fulfilled and the next minute feels like the dumps of a pit, it is a sign of a broken man. His hurt from the past has overpowered the happiness he felt and dragged him into despondency.
Sign 9: He Is Overly Sensitive
Being overly sensitive is a sign of a broken man. It doesn’t take a lot to offend or rile up a broken man. Everything you do or say would be a trigger for offense that might make him act up or even fight you.
You have to walk on tiptoes around him all the time and be very careful of every word you say. You can’t even joke in his presence or do any funny act that reminds him of what broke him.
When a man becomes easily irritated over little things and is very sensitive, you should know that perhaps something has happened to him that has left him hurting.
Sign 10: He Doesn’t Socialize With People
One sign of a broken man is that he prefers his own company, not necessarily because he likes to be by himself but because he has lost faith in people.
If you invite him to functions, celebrations, or even a visit and he refuses to come or refuses to have visitors over at his home, it may be because he is broken inside. He might be tired of faking being fine or afraid that people will see through his disguise and know that something is wrong. If he had always projected himself as a strong person, it’s very likely he would not be sociable enough to hide his secret.
In this world we live in, it is difficult to avoid being hurt, experiencing trauma, or experiencing abuse. When these things happen to a man, they make him broken. Broken men are difficult to deal with, primarily because, unlike women, it is not easy to diagnose brokenness in a man. And even if it were diagnosed, men would rarely admit they were broken and needed help.
It is our responsibility to look out for these signs in the men in our lives or around us and help them see them too. If you’re a man reading this, check yourself to see if these signs are in you, and if they are, try to seek help so that your family can enjoy you again.
Men are important to this world, and we want you to be whole in your mind, body, and spirit.