One of the worst decisions that one could make when it comes to a relationship is being with a controlling guy. A controlling man is a person with an egocentric attitude who lacks consideration for his partner.
This is a man who always wants to exert his dominance and control over his partner. To this kind of man, the opinion of his partner doesn’t count at all. It’s always their decision over the decision of any other person.
A relationship with this kind of man is like a leader-servant relationship; you would have to live your whole life serving them. The worst part of being with a controlling guy is that they are usually violent, especially when you try to object to them or refuse to oblige.
All hell will break loose. Being with a controlling man is signing a contract for an abusive relationship because a controlling man is an abusive man.
If you’re already worried because you don’t want to end up in the hands of an abusive man, don’t be, because in this article we shall be looking at the early signs of a controlling man, which will save you from ending up with an abusive man. let’s examine some of these early signs below
12 Early Signs of a Controlling Guy
1. He constantly criticizes you
A controlling guy will always find fault in almost everything that you do. Nothing you do is ever right; he will thrash every one of your ideas and options, even when other people may find these ideas brilliant.
The truth is, no matter how good you think something you have done is, he will never appreciate you. This kind of attitude can make you lose your self-esteem, question your ability and judgment, and lose your confidence.
Constant criticism is one of the early signs of a controlling guy. If you find a man who is always criticizing you so much that you begin to question your judgment or are afraid to air your opinion, this is a sign that such a man is going to be controlling and domineering.
2. He blames you for everything
Do you know that a controlling guy will never take responsibility for his actions? He will never own up to his mistake. Oh, I know why a controlling guy blames you for everything and why he makes you feel guilty even for his own mistake. This is because he doesn’t know how to say sorry.
You might have to wait till the kingdom comes if you are hoping for a controlling guy to be sorry for his mistakes.
This is why, when I said a controlling guy is an abusive guy, I wasn’t only referring to physical abuse but also emotional abuse. Do you know how it feels to be emotionally abused?
It’s better imagined than experienced. This is why, the moment you notice that a guy blames you for everything, flee! Because it’s one of the early signs of a controlling guy.
3. He makes decisions for you
He doesn’t allow you to make your own decisions. He gives you instructions on what to do and he expects you to obey every one of his decisions.
Even when it comes to making decisions that affect you personally, don’t forget that failure to obey his decisions might get you in serious trouble.
There’s nothing sweet about a controlling guy. If he is always making decisions for you, like a toddler who doesn’t know what is right for him or her, you don’t need to be told that it’s part of the early signs of a controlling guy.
4. He always demands respect
Everything comes off as a form of disrespect for a controlling guy. The moment you object to his opinion, he feels you are being disrespectful and rude towards him.
One of the early signs of a controlling guy is that he will always demand that you respect him because he feels that is the only way he can maintain power in the relationship.
Respect does not have to be demanded or given to one person in a relationship. An ideal relationship should thrive on mutual respect, love, and trust. It doesn’t have to be one-sided.
5. He is overprotective and possessive
This is one sign that can easily be mistaken for a form of care but while it’s good to be protective, some forms of protection are unhealthy when they are excessively done. A controlling guy monitors your moves, always wanting to know what you are doing.
This attitude stems from his insecurity. This attitude can be very frustrating because he does not give you breathing space.
6. He is abusive
One of the glaring early signs of a controlling guy that you will also notice is that he is abusive. His desire for power and dominance in the relationship can result in abuse.
It could be physical or emotional abuse. The fact that he orders you around alone is a form of abuse on its own. Remember that being with a controlling guy means getting yourself abused in every sense.
7. His love is transactional and conditional
A controlling guy only does things for you in the hope of expecting something and getting something in return. He makes you feel indebted to him.
This is why, the moment you disagree with him or refuse to dance to his tune, he will remind you of all the things that he has done for you and how ungrateful you are.
The moment you notice that a guy is always like this, there is a very high possibility that such a guy is controlling.
8. He wants to be the center of attention
He always wants to shine. He wants the world to revolve around him alone. He may be angry when he sees you getting attention from people; it makes him feel threatened. It may even come to him as disrespectful; literally, everything comes off as disrespectful to a controlling guy.
Being with this kind of guy means being conscious of your actions and your words because you can’t tell what counts as disrespect to him.
The moment you notice this, it’s a red flag and it’s one of the early signs of a controlling guy.
The reason a controlling guy likes to be the center of attention is due to his strong desire for validation and need for constant reassurance.
9. He gaslights you
The controlling guys are gaslighters. They are manipulative and they make you question your sanity. He makes everything look like there is something wrong with you. This kind of attitude can be very disturbing and can affect your mental well-being in a relationship.
He is quick to distort facts and truth, especially when they do not speak in his favor. Gaslighting is one of the early signs of a controlling guy and you need to watch out for it. It’s better to remove yourself from any relationship you are in with a guy once you notice that he is gaslighting you.
10. He tries to change you
Another early sign of a controlling guy is that he tries to mold you in his way. He feels that he has the power over your life to make you someone for whom he can exert his power and authority.
Everyone has unique traits and personalities, and what a healthy and ideal relationship should be is embracing our individuality and not one person trying to change the other into someone that she is not.
11. He limits your independence
One thing that a controlling guy will try to take away from you is your independence. Once he takes away your independence, he feels that he took the power away from you. That is why a controlling guy will always want you to depend on him.
Any idea, decision, or career that will mean your advancement, he will disregard. This kind of guy will make life a living hell for you, especially when you are of higher status or earn more than him. He feels threatened by this, which makes him feel like he is gradually losing his power.
12. He tries to isolate you from family and friends
Finally, the early signs of a controlling guy are that he tries to limit your interaction with family and friends. He tries to cut off your social ties with people because he knows that when he does this, your support system has been successfully removed and they won’t be able to give any form of emotional support or advice.
Isolating you from family and friends makes you more dependent on him and this makes it easy for him to manipulate and exact his dominance on you as he wants.
If you notice a guy is trying to do this, it’s better to cut ties with him, as this can affect you emotionally and psychologically.
Conclusion
Conclusively, a relationship should thrive on mutual trust, love, and respect. It’s wrong when a guy feels the need to exact his power or dominance on you.
It’s not fair and no woman deserves to go through the trouble of being with a control freak. Once you notice a guy is exhibiting the signs that have been discussed above, you should stay away.
This is important for your mental well-being and sanity. Don’t lose yourself trying to endure the behavior of a controlling guy.
