Trying to figure out the actions of some guys is pretty, nope, very frustrating. You have the feeling that he likes you but he won’t admit it. Or he shows clear signs of interest but once you try to get close, he backs off.
Relationship experts have analyzed different reasons for when a guy acts interested then suddenly backs off.
A guy playing games with your feelings and emotions can be as annoying as it can get, but what if he is not playing games? See, you cannot rule out a variety of possibilities in the dating world because it keeps growing.
Though his actions would leave you in a hassle trying to figure out what went wrong, before you start blaming yourself, it may not even be about you. Even if it is about you, what can you do about it?
If your goal is to unravel this behavior of his, you should first understand that there is no truth to this matter except what is true to you, but we can walk you through the different possible reasons for his behavior and then you pick the ones most appropriate to your situation and act on them.
This article is here to talk about why and what it means when a guy acts interested, then suddenly backs off and what you can do in such a situation.
What does it mean when a guy acts interested then suddenly backs off? 10 possible reasons.
1. He is too shy
When a guy acts interested then backs off, it probably means he is too shy to make a move. You might interpret his distance as disinterest, but he may just be trying to process how to talk to you. He is scared that he may do or say the wrong thing, he really wants to make a good impression, and he is dying to talk to you but his shyness keeps him at bay.
Therefore, you should not go around thinking that every guy must be bold enough to walk up to you and state their interest. What if you met him halfway?
In a case whereby his shyness overrules, especially when he doesn’t find a driving force to approach you, he may back out entirely after dropping subtle hints and you never take it up.
2. He is a sex hunter
A guy who is only interested in sex would happily act interested and then suddenly back off.
Not every guy is interested in a long and lasting relationship with a girl. Most times, they are either looking for a one-night stand or someone who will satisfy their sexual hunger.
This guy may just be a sex hunter with no interest in being your boyfriend, somehow, it feels like a game where women compete for his attention so once he sees you being clingy and acting interested in more than what you have, he grows distant and eventually disappears.
If he is not interested in more than sex and you want something more, it is a major red flag, so be rest assured that it’s good riddance.
3. He has a fear of commitment
Guys who have a fear of commitment will act interested in you and back off later.
Some guys do not like being “tied down”, which is actually what they feel being in a relationship is. They prefer to be free and able to date anyone they want at any time instead of committing to one person.Or such a guy may have trauma from past relationships, or even family.
Maybe he has never bonded with anyone in the past so it seems new to him that you want a committed relationship but don’t know how to go about it.His fear pushed him to be interested one moment and act all distant the next moment.
4. He needs to check his feelings
A guy can act interested in you and then suddenly back off if he can’t process his feelings for you.
He may be feeling like you are not the one for him and possibly there is someone out there who would connect with him more than you do. This may be a case whereby you both share different values, or interests but don’t click.
So he backs off to analyze his feelings for you to see if they are genuine instead of stringing you along and later dumping you.
He may also be struggling to figure out his emotions. Contrary to popular belief, experts have found that male behaviors are not as easy to understand as we think. Some guys have difficulty knowing what they truly want in a woman and when they can’t figure it out, they tend to back off and subtly disappear instead of facing their feelings.
5. He is in multiple relationships
When a guy acts interested in you and suddenly backs off, it also means that he is in multiple relationships.
Male psychology is funnily complex, some guys just want to be in relationships for the fun of it, with no huge commitment on either side so they date around and keep multiple partners. These guys are chronic womanizers.
They are not interested in settling down with anyone because it would kill their vibe so trying to get all close and committed would send them spiraling off.
You should exercise caution if you are interested in guys like this because not only are they manipulative, but they would break your heart while at it.
6. He can’t deal with his ego
One distinct reason why a guy would act interested and then back off is because he has an inflated ego. Guys subtly and clearly love recognition and attention from ladies. So they won’t mind one single bit that they flaunt their interest in you while waiting patiently for you to react and get yourself around them.
They may not even have any feelings for you but just want you to look their way. Or may have feelings for you and want you to show them how interested you are.
Men with such high egos would not think of investing in a relationship. They enjoy the validation that comes from you and if you are not one to show them such attention, they withdraw and act uninterested all of a sudden.
7. He fears rejection or emotional attachment
If a guy fears rejection, it pushes him to act interested in you and back off later. He may be acting like he likes you but going distant when you approach him, he may just be afraid of rejection for different reasons,
- He had a bad breakup and the idea of getting tangled up again makes him relieve the bad memories he’s had.
- He’s insecure, his whole action screams self-preservation.
- He feels you are out of his league and won’t measure up to your standards.
- He is not sure of your feelings, and doesn’t know how to please you.
Some men feel that emotional vulnerability makes them weak. He notices that you are one who wants flowers and sweet talks so he is not sure how to please you. Sometimes such notions are laughable because most women love a romantic guy but you are swaying towards the edge of toxic masculinity and unable to tell a lady how you feel. It is best that you understand how he feels and help him help you.
8. He has other priorities
Even if he has an interest in you, many other unforeseen circumstances and top priorities would push him to back off for the time being because his issues would not sort themselves out. It may not be that he is not serious about you but he is trying to sort out his problems and is not intentionally ignoring you like you think.
In this case, it’s up to you to decide if he’s worth waiting for or not.
9.He just broke up with his ex
A guy showing interest in you and suddenly backs off may be due to the fact that he just got out of a relationship. It’s either he is not over his ex enough to get into another relationship or he doesn’t see you as a rebound, instead he wants to fully process his feelings before committing to another person.
This means that being in a relationship is important to him, so he is taking his time to solve his issues so his next relationship will be better.This kind of trait in a guy is applaudable.
10. He lost interest
When a guy acts interested in you and suddenly backs off, it may be a case of lost interest. He may not even have a clear or important reason for such behavior. He does not even give you a second thought or glance if he comes across you later.
Well, well, I’ll say it is a good riddance. Because someone who truly likes you won’t lose interest without any major reason, right?
You shouldn’t bother to hold his interest any more than he does to you. Move on!
What can you do after a guy acts interested then backs off? 5 things you can do
1. Speak up, ask him about it.
It is important to get clarity when you feel overwhelmed or confused because it will help you keep your thoughts and emotions in place. If you really want to know why he came at you all interested one time and then suddenly backs off, then ask him about it. Before embarking on this mission, be sure you are ready to hear the answers he gives you. It may be a “you” issue or his issue. Be ready to listen and not jump to conclusions.
Most men like a challenge and will give you an answer if you are bold enough to take them on. Give it your best shot and walk away knowing who posed the real issue.
2. Give him space
If you have tried to talk to him about it and answers are not forthcoming or he has told you to give him a break, then you do just that. Yes? He wants space? Give him space.
Don’t go parading yourself in his DM, pushing a conversation when he clearly doesn’t want one. Don’t go stalking him or trying to sell yourself cheap. Know your worth and do likewise.
3. Decide if he’s worth it
This decision is totally up to you. When you have listened to his reasons or gauged his actions, you have to come to this conclusion all by yourself. Should you wait for him to come around or should you move on? The ball is in your court!
4. Accept it
It is really painful when a guy you like ditches you. Yet, you should be able to accept when a guy has made a decision concerning you. If he doesn’t want you around and you manipulate yourself into his life, he may not give you the respect you deserve because he sees you as a parasite. It will be your loss, so learn to accept whatever outcome comes your way and work your way out.
5. Move on, change your focus
This cannot be overemphasized, move on, dear, there are many fish in the river. You will find the one that is right for you.
If you find yourself in a situation where a guy locks eyes with you and doesn’t look away, understanding the reasons behind his actions would help you because you do not want to conclude when you don’t know his side of the story.
However, you can use the tips in this article to determine where you fall and how to go about it.