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Dating can be challenging, plus the rise of certain dating concepts makes it seem so cumbersome. You come to a point where you likely understand how to navigate your way through a relationship and suddenly, you meet a dead end that leaves you feeling confused. This case is the concept of a cancelled date but still texting.

Imagine being excited about a date. You’ve spent hours preparing the perfect outfit, and you’ve even walked yourself through (in your mind) how the whole thing will play out. Suddenly, out of the blue, you see a text message telling you that the person cancelled on you at the last minute. Now you are very disappointed and feel like the whole thing is over. But then, the person keeps texting and checking up on you.

Anyone who has been in this situation will agree that it’s very confusing. You don’t even know what to feel or ask. You are uncertain about the whole reason behind this. There are a lot of reasons why a date got cancelled, and they could mean different things.


Even if you understand why the date got cancelled, you still can’t help but wonder where the relationship stands or would lead if the other person still texts you. It’s like walking on eggshells, waiting for clarification.

Questions like, does he/ she still like me? Or are they just being polite so as not to hurt my feelings? What should I do? How can I tell if they’re still interested?

This article is here to answer your questions. There are several signs and different possibilities for why someone cancelled a date but still texts you.

Let’s delve into them.

1. They are still interested

Cancelling a date may not have anything to do with you because people have emergencies that pop up at the last minute and cannot be moved. These reasons could range from being sick, having a family issue, or closing late from work. It would be something beyond the person’s control, so they are left with no choice but to cancel.

However, you are surprised when this person keeps texting you to check up. Isn’t it obvious? If the person still texts you after cancelling the date, it’s a clear sign that they’re still interested and do not want to lose touch with you.

It wasn’t personal at all, so you shouldn’t take it personally. Texting you is the reassurance you need that it was not an intentional act, and they do not intend to cut you off and ghost you just like that.

What you should do

You should always give the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. So if an apology was rendered, rescheduling the date is next.

2. They developed cold feet


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Most people become nervous about going on a date. It may not be a normal occurrence for them, so their nerves got the better of them and they suddenly developed cold feet. They might have an underlying fear of outings or generally have low self-esteem and decide to cancel the date at the last minute.

However, texting you after cancelling is not an issue for them because they prefer to hide behind their keypads rather than face you in real life.

Now, this may not be your issue at all, rather, it’s their own issue. For them, texting is way easier because they may fear judgment, have an overactive imagination or think they are not good enough. But texting allows them to express their feelings without seeing your expressions, so they feel better off.

This, however, is not going to get the relationship anywhere because you both can’t rely on texting all the time without meeting once.

What you should do 

There’s not much to be done here. Both of you have a role to play, so either the other party will have to eventually come out of their shell or you will have to figure out the issue and meet them halfway.

3. They don’t feel ready

Due to several issues people face, whether a recent breakup, family issues, or work issues, going on a date seems like a huge step toward commitment and they are not ready for that. So instead of trying to bottle up these issues and face the date head on, they prefer to cancel it and still keep in touch with the thought of future reconsideration.

Continuous texting simply means they want to take it slow and stay connected because they’re interested in you and love your company.

What you should do

Respect their situation and give them time to come around. If you value this person, you will not want to be detrimental to their growth and help them to sort out their problems.

4. They are just being polite

What if they did not really want to go out with you? Maybe accepting the date wasn’t even their idea. They accepted just to seem polite and eventually could not keep up the facade, so they cancelled at the last minute.

Yet they keep texting to put up that polite front, so you won’t think they’re rude. They even apologized profusely and you had your hopes up.

What you should do

Politeness would not get you both anywhere. If they are afraid to come up front and say how they really feel, then you should do that. Clear the air so that they don’t keep stringing you along when you could use the time on another date with someone who would be interested.

5. They are scared of commitment

The fear of commitment alone is enough to make anyone make rash decisions. These fears stem from many issues, especially poor past relationships. This lingering fear pushed them to cancel the date but inwardly, they hope they get a chance for another.

They still text you to maintain communication in hopes of not ending what may turn out to be a beautiful relationship someday, even if they are not ready at the moment.

What you should do

Perhaps they already told you that they are interested but this fear seems to be stopping them from going all out with you. If you are up to it, give them time to come around.

6. They have mixed feelings

Having mixed feelings can be frustrating. They want to go out with you but do not want to go out with you. See, confusing!

This can happen when they have different prospects, maybe there’s someone else they’re interested in and it’s not working out, then they’re interested in you but don’t know whether to commit, hence, they had to cancel the date and sort their feelings. Texting you may help them make a decision because it gives them time to get to know you and check if it will work out later on.

What you should do

Are you very interested in them? Then you should come up front, ask them directly if they want to be with you and get their reaction. If you’re sure enough, their mixed feelings slowly get quelled.

7. They are testing you

This excuse is not really cool because it shows that you do not regard people’s feelings as important.

Still, people cancel dates for reasons like this. They might be trying to see your reaction, if you were really interested in them or just trying to string them along.

It seems manipulative, even if that’s not the idea behind it. They might just be afraid of getting hurt or being stood up, so this is their way of checking if you will be as invested in the relationship as they are willing to be. Texting you after cancelling the date is their way of observing your character and interest.

What you should do

Are you okay with their explanation after they cancelled the date? If you feel it’s not something you can deal with, then the ball is in your court. Feel free to decide whether to keep communicating or not.

8. They are afraid of complications

Imagine if you both were good friends and suddenly you were asked on a date when you did not foresee any situation like that.

It likewise creates a sudden fear of complications. “What if this goes wrong? Our friendship would be affected,” became the thought of the day. This is a legit reason for cancelling the date. Of course, they would still want to keep in touch because your friendship is valued but they do not have the idea of going on a date with you.

What you should do

Have an open conversation where both of you lay out your feelings. The outcome is your advice.

Understanding the reasons behind a person’s action helps to avoid misunderstandings and wrong judgments of a situation. In this case, as in many others, it is important to have conversations and clear the air because cancelling the date and then continuing texting leaves many people confused and frustrated.

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